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Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

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w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

71<br />

they need. When your questions lead to stilted<br />

answers, it is better not to push farther.<br />

It is probable that conversations about the refugee<br />

family’s past will occur spontaneously, whenever<br />

the refugee family feels ready or feels the need<br />

to share. It is likely that the refugee may feel<br />

most com<strong>for</strong>table, at least initially, talking about<br />

their past in the security of their home <strong>and</strong> in the<br />

presence of one or two trusted people. Once they<br />

begin to trust you with their story, you may be<br />

able to start exploring their interest in sharing with<br />

others in the church as well. Some families may<br />

be very interested in sharing their stories with a<br />

wider audience, while others may prefer not to.<br />

If you sense an interest in sharing their story more<br />

widely, find out what kind of setting in which they<br />

would feel most com<strong>for</strong>table. Would they prefer<br />

to share with a small group? Or would they like to<br />

share their story with a larger audience, perhaps<br />

as special speakers at a church event? What<br />

about through art, music, writing or drama? Some<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> may be glad to share their story openly<br />

<strong>and</strong> publicly, others may wish <strong>for</strong> a more intimate<br />

setting, perhaps in their home. If the church is<br />

interested in having the refugee family share their<br />

story with a group, why not consider a story-circle,<br />

in which not only the refugee family shares their<br />

story, but also other members of the group share<br />

stories of difficult experiences they have lived in<br />

the past as well? This kind of exercise creates a<br />

special sense of unity while humanizing all of the<br />

stories <strong>and</strong> also assuring the <strong>refugees</strong> that they<br />

are not alone.<br />

Because the refugee family likely feels so indebted<br />

to the church, they may feel obliged to accept any<br />

invitation to speak about their past that the church<br />

extends. With the best of intentions, churches can<br />

unintentionally <strong>for</strong>ce the refugee family to revisit<br />

their past be<strong>for</strong>e they are ready, <strong>and</strong> thus cause<br />

“It’s very important that churches<br />

keep in mind that the families need to<br />

talk. It’s good <strong>for</strong> the church to provide<br />

opportunities <strong>for</strong> the families to tell their<br />

stories, to talk about their experiences in<br />

Colombia. I think that churches might<br />

think that people want to <strong>for</strong>get. But <strong>for</strong><br />

us, every time we were invited out <strong>for</strong> a<br />

meal we were asked about our experience.<br />

Talking about our past helped. In our<br />

church there were ten couples that spoke<br />

Spanish, German <strong>and</strong> English. We always<br />

laughed <strong>together</strong>, sometimes they made<br />

mistakes <strong>and</strong> translated into German<br />

rather than English. They compared their<br />

experience of being <strong>refugees</strong> as well. One<br />

man’s entire family had been killed when<br />

he was a little boy. He says he saw how<br />

they took his father <strong>and</strong> he never saw him<br />

again. They talk about the <strong>for</strong>ced work <strong>and</strong><br />

the concentration camps. They say that<br />

they see the reflection of what they lived in<br />

their era in us.”<br />

- Pablo<br />

“It would be very good to be able to talk<br />

to people we trust in, so that they could<br />

help us. Possibly it would let us unload or<br />

unburden ourselves a little, feel some peace.<br />

Maybe the other person could underst<strong>and</strong><br />

a bit more why one is here, the problems<br />

that we had. The problem is the language<br />

barrier.”<br />

- Dora<br />

“Here in the church they haven’t asked me,<br />

but when they ask me I am willing to talk.<br />

I think that it would be beneficial <strong>for</strong> me to<br />

talk to people from my church, to help me<br />

feel more free. Sometimes, from thinking so<br />

much, you feel bad. You need to unburden<br />

yourself, talk about what happened.”<br />

- Sara

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