Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees
Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees
Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees
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w a l k i n g<br />
t o g e t h e r<br />
71<br />
they need. When your questions lead to stilted<br />
answers, it is better not to push farther.<br />
It is probable that conversations about the refugee<br />
family’s past will occur spontaneously, whenever<br />
the refugee family feels ready or feels the need<br />
to share. It is likely that the refugee may feel<br />
most com<strong>for</strong>table, at least initially, talking about<br />
their past in the security of their home <strong>and</strong> in the<br />
presence of one or two trusted people. Once they<br />
begin to trust you with their story, you may be<br />
able to start exploring their interest in sharing with<br />
others in the church as well. Some families may<br />
be very interested in sharing their stories with a<br />
wider audience, while others may prefer not to.<br />
If you sense an interest in sharing their story more<br />
widely, find out what kind of setting in which they<br />
would feel most com<strong>for</strong>table. Would they prefer<br />
to share with a small group? Or would they like to<br />
share their story with a larger audience, perhaps<br />
as special speakers at a church event? What<br />
about through art, music, writing or drama? Some<br />
<strong>refugees</strong> may be glad to share their story openly<br />
<strong>and</strong> publicly, others may wish <strong>for</strong> a more intimate<br />
setting, perhaps in their home. If the church is<br />
interested in having the refugee family share their<br />
story with a group, why not consider a story-circle,<br />
in which not only the refugee family shares their<br />
story, but also other members of the group share<br />
stories of difficult experiences they have lived in<br />
the past as well? This kind of exercise creates a<br />
special sense of unity while humanizing all of the<br />
stories <strong>and</strong> also assuring the <strong>refugees</strong> that they<br />
are not alone.<br />
Because the refugee family likely feels so indebted<br />
to the church, they may feel obliged to accept any<br />
invitation to speak about their past that the church<br />
extends. With the best of intentions, churches can<br />
unintentionally <strong>for</strong>ce the refugee family to revisit<br />
their past be<strong>for</strong>e they are ready, <strong>and</strong> thus cause<br />
“It’s very important that churches<br />
keep in mind that the families need to<br />
talk. It’s good <strong>for</strong> the church to provide<br />
opportunities <strong>for</strong> the families to tell their<br />
stories, to talk about their experiences in<br />
Colombia. I think that churches might<br />
think that people want to <strong>for</strong>get. But <strong>for</strong><br />
us, every time we were invited out <strong>for</strong> a<br />
meal we were asked about our experience.<br />
Talking about our past helped. In our<br />
church there were ten couples that spoke<br />
Spanish, German <strong>and</strong> English. We always<br />
laughed <strong>together</strong>, sometimes they made<br />
mistakes <strong>and</strong> translated into German<br />
rather than English. They compared their<br />
experience of being <strong>refugees</strong> as well. One<br />
man’s entire family had been killed when<br />
he was a little boy. He says he saw how<br />
they took his father <strong>and</strong> he never saw him<br />
again. They talk about the <strong>for</strong>ced work <strong>and</strong><br />
the concentration camps. They say that<br />
they see the reflection of what they lived in<br />
their era in us.”<br />
- Pablo<br />
“It would be very good to be able to talk<br />
to people we trust in, so that they could<br />
help us. Possibly it would let us unload or<br />
unburden ourselves a little, feel some peace.<br />
Maybe the other person could underst<strong>and</strong><br />
a bit more why one is here, the problems<br />
that we had. The problem is the language<br />
barrier.”<br />
- Dora<br />
“Here in the church they haven’t asked me,<br />
but when they ask me I am willing to talk.<br />
I think that it would be beneficial <strong>for</strong> me to<br />
talk to people from my church, to help me<br />
feel more free. Sometimes, from thinking so<br />
much, you feel bad. You need to unburden<br />
yourself, talk about what happened.”<br />
- Sara