Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

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LISTENING AND ACCOMPANIMENT
It is important for the church refugee support group to plan for how they will listen to the family. Although
the family may not want to talk about their story right away, they must know that there will always be
someone available to listen to them, whenever they need to talk. The church refugee committee should
be prepared to listen not only to their story from Colombia, but also be there to listen to the challenges,
frustrations and disappointments that the family experiences as they adjust to life in Canada - and let
them know that everything they are experiencing is normal.
Sometimes when one hears the problems or pains of others, one wants to help fix them. That is not
the purpose of this type of listening. The goal is to simply be present, consistent and open as you listen
to the troubles of the refugee family, without trying to “fix” their pain or problems. It is only the refugee
family themselves that can do the work of “fixing” and healing. Listening is an extremely important way
in which the church can support the family in their personal work of healing.
As you consider this topic, it may be helpful to refer back to the sections Talking about Trauma, What
Survivors Want to Say to Clergy, and Understanding our Differences.
Some questions to help guide your planning process:
1. Who will be intentionally available to listen to the refugee family?
2. How will you let the family know who is available, and that someone is willing to listen to
them anytime and about anything?
3. What kind of initiative will the “listener(s)” take to ensure the families are given
opportunities to be listened to?
4. Remember that speaking on the telephone is often one of the hardest things for a
new language learner to do. In addition, phones may actually generate fear for some
Colombian refugees at first, because of the many times they may have been threatened
over the phone or because of fear of their conversations being tapped. Giving the
refugee family your phone number and hoping they will call may not be an optimal
strategy for finding out when they need to talk. (Touching base in person will be more
effective.)
5. How will you address issues of confidentiality, if the family tells you things that they hope
you won’t pass on?
6. Will language barriers be an issue? If so, how will you resolve this? Where can you find
appropriate interpreters? For example, in a casual setting such as supper with the family,
it might be nice to have an acquaintance interpret. In a more formal setting, such as
a meeting with the refugee committee and the family, it would be important to use
an experienced interpreter. Don’t forget to go over the Guidelines for Working with
Interpreters in Appendix two if you use an “in house” interpreter.
7. What kind of spaces will you use to listen to the family? In their home? At the church? In
church member’s homes?