going-clear-scientology-hollywood-and-the-prison-of-belief-by-lawrence-wright-2

was afraid I would bore them. This injected anxiety and careless speed into my work. I
must be convinced that I can write skillfully and well.” Those who criticize his work are
fools, he writes. “I must be convinced I have succeeded in writing and with ease will
regain my popularity, which actually was not small.”
“My service record was none too glorious,” he admits. He also confesses his shame
about his frequent aairs. But he is intent on succeeding in his relationship with Sara,
whom he describes as “young, beautiful, desirable.” Unfortunately, he is handicapped by
bouts of impotence. “I want her always. But I am 13 years older than she. She is heavily
sexed. My libido is so low I hardly admire her naked.”
Sex preoccupies him. He’s worried about his “very bad masturbatory history,” his
sexual diseases, and his impotence, which he had been treating with testosterone
supplements. “By eliminating certain fears of hypnosis, curing my rheumatism and
laying off hormones, I hope to restore my former libido. I must!”
Through self-hypnosis, he hopes to convince himself of certain prescriptive mantras,
including:
I can write.
My mind is still brilliant.
That masturbation was no sin or crime.
That I do not need to have ulcers anymore.
That I am fortunate in losing Polly and my parents, for they never meant well by me.
That I believe in my gods and spiritual things.
That my magical work is powerful and effective.
That the numbers 7, 25, and 16 are not unlucky or evil for me.
That I am not bad to look upon.
That I am not susceptible to colds.
That Sara is always beautiful to me.
That these words and commands are like re and will sear themselves into every corner of my being, making me
happy and well and confident forever!
The second part of the document, labeled “Course II,” included the statements that
have come to be called Armations, although Hubbard refers to them as incantations.
He had recently gotten a new recorder for dictation, called a SoundScriber. It may be
that he recorded this portion and played it back to himself as a means of self-hypnosis.
This section begins with the command “You are asleep.”
In this lesson, Hubbard tells himself, he will learn several important things:
You have no urge to talk about your navy life. You do not like to talk of it. You never illustrate your point with bogus
stories. It is not necessary for you to lie to be amusing and witty.
You like to have your intimate friends approve of and love you for what you are. This desire to be loved does not
amount to a psychosis.