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years ago in the Galactic Confederacy, which was composed of seventy-six planets and
twenty-six stars. “The world we live in now replicates the civilization of that period,”
Hubbard said. “People at that particular time and place were walking around in clothes
which looked very remarkably like the clothes they wear this very minute.… The cars
they drove looked exactly the same, and the trains they ran looked the same, and the
boats they had looked the same. Circa nineteen-fifty, nineteen-sixty.”
A tyrannical overlord named Xenu ruled the Confederacy. “He was a Suppressive to
end all Suppressives,” Hubbard told his followers. Xenu had been chosen by a kind of
Praetorian guard called the Loyal Ocers, but they realized that their leader was
wicked and they decided to remove him. Xenu had other plans, Hubbard said. “He took
the last moments he had in oce to really goof the oof.” Xenu and a few evil
conspirators—mainly psychiatrists—fed false information to the population to draw
them into centers where Xenu’s troops could destroy them. “One of the mechanisms they
used was to tell them to come in for an income-tax investigation,” Hubbard related. “So
in they went, and the troops started slaughtering them.” The preferred method was to
shoot a needle into a lung, paralyzing the thetan with an injection of frozen alcohol and
glycol. The frozen bodies were packed into boxes and loaded onto space planes, which
resembled the DC-8 jetliner. “No dierence—except the DC-8 had fans—propellers—on
it and the space plane didn’t.” In this fashion, billions of thetans were transported to
Teegeeack, the planet now called Earth, where they were dropped into volcanoes and
then blown up with hydrogen bombs.
Thetans are immortal, however. Freed from their corporeal incarnations, they oated
along on the powerful winds created by the explosion. Then they were trapped in an
electronic ribbon and placed in front of a “three-D, super colossal motion picture” for
thirty-six days, during which time they were subjected to images called R6 implants.
“These pictures contain God, the Devil, angels, space opera, theaters, helicopters, a
constant spinning, a spinning dancer, trains and various scenes very like modern
England. You name it, it’s in this implant.” The implant included all world religions and
“a motion picture studio” complete with screenwriters.
Xenu didn’t have much time to gloat over his victory. Some Loyal Ocers remained,
scattered around the galaxy. There was a civil war, and within a year, the Loyal Ocers
had captured Xenu and locked him up in an electried wire cage buried in a mountain.
“He is not likely ever to get out,” Hubbard said.
Because Teegeeack was a dumping ground for thetans, it became known as the Prison
Planet, “the planet of ill repute.” The Galactic Confederacy abandoned the area,
although various invaders have appeared throughout the millennia. But these free-
oating thetans remain behind. They are the souls of people who have been dead for
seventy-ve million years. They attach themselves to living people because they no
longer have free will. There can be millions of them clustered inside a single person’s
body. Auditing for Scientologists at OT III and above would now focus on eliminating
the “body thetans”—or BTs—that stand in the way of spiritual progress.
More than individual salvation was at stake. Hubbard said that the Prison Planet had
been civilized many times in the past, but it always arrived at the same end: utter