Pastoral Relationship with People with Intellectual ... - Theses

231grandmotherly visage. She talks in a kindly, somewhat world-weary way. Shealways enquires about my children, offering gentle but firmly-held grandmotherlywisdom.“Make sure they eat their vegetables. They should always eat theirvegetables.”“Indeed they should, Madge.”Of herself, she likes to talk about familiar themes -- her childhood by thesea, picnics in the park, trips to the pictures, cats and dogs -- hers or theneighbours -- and her beloved Nana. They are childhood, filial, domestic themes.They’re pre-institutional themes and memories she seems to embrace like a wellworn,much-loved security blanket. Today as usual Madge has returned withclarity to that fondly-remembered era.“Oh, Bobby was so cuddly. You’d wake up in the morning and he’d bethere licking my hand. He was such a good puppy.”“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had a visitor, Madge. I just need to putyour towels back in your bathroom. Won’t be a minute.”“OK love,” says Madge. And the carer hastily attends to her chore andleaves. Madge seems to accept this behaviour as normal.A little later the visit ends with Madge’s perennial benediction, “Give mylove to your family.” I leave, feeling annoyed.Reflection and AnalysisMadge’s total private physical space consists of this one small room withan adjoining bathroom. In her room are displayed her entire range of worldlypossessions. Hanging on the wall are various pictures of dogs. On her dresser is apicture of her brother, recently deceased, along with a few china ornaments,family hand-me-downs. Covering her bed is a hand-knitted blanket, quite brightlydesigned. At the top of her bed is a big teddy bear, the kind you might win insideshow alley. On her bedside cupboard is a small photo album with picturesfrom recent outings.It’s a simple neat room with simple belongings which Madge shouldclaim as hers. And yet a carer can enter unannounced into this private space witha clichéd apology that does not prevent her from immediately fulfilling herrequired task.“I didn’t know you had a visitor.”