Pastoral Relationship with People with Intellectual ... - Theses

238personal, pastoral priorities as represented in this story concerning Gladys. I ampleased that the institution includes me on committees such as on palliative careand ethics. I am also pleased that I can debrief with my supervisor, giving mecause to reflect purposively on the progress of my ministry in this place. Theseare institutional responsibilities which I willingly accept and which the institutionexpects of their chaplain. However, amidst such necessary responsibilities comesGladys reminding me of my pastoral priorities.Gladys reminds me that my core responsibility is to the people who livehere. She also reminds me that part of that responsibility is to engage inrelationships in which the people who live in this place have the right to relate tome on their terms and not just when it suits me. To only engage with the peoplehere on my terms is to acquiesce with the medical concept of relationship whichprevails in this place. A part of being human and caring in this place involvesallowing the people who live here to have a say in when they might choose torelate to you. Sometimes this may take some negotiation; however, it mustremain a priority in the definition of my pastoral relationships.To allow the people who live here to have a say in when they may chooseto relate to me offers them a measure of power, an opportunity to assert arelational agenda rather than having a medical agenda imposed upon them.I am reminded of Volf’s interrelational model of inclusion called‘Embrace’, 582 whereby I as pastoral carer, seeking to offer generous hospitalityand welcome, begin by throwing open my arms to the other in an act of selfemptying.In so doing a space is created in which the other may enter, an actdescribed as “a gesture of invitation.” 583 This invitation is followed by awillingness to wait for the response of the other and then, if the invitation tohospitality is reciprocated, a closing of the arms around the other, an embrace inwhich each enters the other’s space and experiences the welcoming presence ofthe other. 584However, Gladys is turning the notion of ‘Embrace’ on its head. Ratherthan me reach out to her she is daring to take the initiative and seeks embrace582 Volf, Exclusion and Embrace, 141-145.The four-part process of Volf’s model of ‘Embrace’ will be further articulated in thefollowing chapter.583 ibid., 142.584 ibid., 143.