2018 Beach Retreat Leader Manual

DISCIPLINE
GUIDELINES
We want you to have fun as a Beach Retreat Leader. But if you start out as a “pushover,”
you will have a miserable week! You must be firm. The rules are not just stated;
students are to live by them, and leaders must enforce them. If you let little things go
unpunished, you will not be able to control the big things. Start out tough! You can
ease up as the week goes on, but If you start off easy, you will never get control.
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• Students want authority. Students need you to be
an adult, not another one of them. You are not “one
of the gang.” You are not “on their level.” You are an
adult and you must act like one. We don’t minister to
students by behaving like them.
• Students need adults to set a positive example by
their behavior. Therefore, leaders must never tease
students, pull practical jokes on students or one
another, or behave like the students.
• Always know where your students are. You are
responsible to keep up with your students.
• Enforce curfew without mercy! After curfew no
student is allowed to leave his or her condo and you
may not give a student your permission to do so. If
you send your students out, they will lose free time
and you will get in trouble, too! Remember that all
leaders must enforce all rules.
• Why do we discipline? JHigh and High School
students are not adults in small bodies. They are older
adolescents struggling to become adults. Many times
they handle situations poorly. That is one reason
why you are so important. You can guide and teach
them the correct way to handle freedom, choices,
responsibility and authority.
• Why do we emphasize rules so much? The rules
set fences so that students know exactly where the
boundaries are. There is security in knowing the limits.
As long as they stay within the defined boundaries,
discipline is not necessary.
• Never use physical contact to control students.
• Never publicly embarrass or degrade a student.
Discipline in private whenever possible.
• Conduct yourself in a manner worthy of a student’s
respect.
• Remember that you do not have to act like a student
to influence one.
• Warn once and only once. Make promises, not idle
threats. Do not continue to repeat yourself. Do what
you say you will do.
• Don’t allow the students to cut down or criticize
one another.
• When disciplining, never criticize. Separate the
behavior from the person. Saying, “You lied” is much
better than “You are a liar.”
• Every student has some imperfections about which he
is overly sensitive. Do not ever tease students, even if
you think it is in a spirit of fun. Insults cut deeper and
hurt much longer when they come from an adult.
• Communicate to your students that you love
them unconditionally.
• Never yell or scream. When you lose your temper, you
show the students that you have lost control of them
and of the situation.
• Catch the students doing something good and
compliment them… do not only point out what they
are doing wrong.