HUDSON TAYLOR The man who believed God by Marshall Broomhall

34 THE MAN WHO BELIEVED GOD
I cannot describe how I long to be a missionary; to carry the
Glad Tidings to poor, perishing sinners; to spend and be
spent for Him who died for me. I feel as if for this I could
give up everything, every idol, however dear."
Of the varied experiences through which he passed in
those days in Hull we can but dwell on two. There was
first the deep soul struggle connected with his attachment
to Miss V., to which reference has already been
made. Much as this struggle of two years cost him, for
the attachment was deep and real, he remained true to
his call. That was to be supreme, and alone he faced the
issue and overcame, though his sister was his loved confidante
throughout this supreme test.
"Thank God," he wrote to her when finally the
matter was settled, "the way of duty is the safe way."
The other great question was, Could he so trust God,
and so move God by prayer, while in the homeland, as to
justify him in venturing forth to a dark and distant
country? In many ways this vital question was put to
the test.
"When I get out to China", he said to himself, "I shall
have no claim on anyone for anything. My only claim will
be on God. How important to learn before leaving England,
to move man through God by prayer alone .... I had not
at that time learned that even 'if we believe not, yet He
abideth faithful, He cannot deny Himself'. It was consequently
a very serious question to my mind, not whether
He was faithful, but whether I had strong enough faith to
warrant my embarking in the enterprise set before me."
Two lessons in this school of faith were now learned
which were a help to him for the rest of his life, and to
these reference must be made. Though his employer had
requested him to remind him when his salary was due~
he determined not to do this, that he might thus test his