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Bring Back the Good Old Woods
By: Susan Goldfein / Susan’s Unfiltered Wit
So, there I was, 8:30 am, indulging in my
guilty pleasures – a second cup of coffee
and my second crossword puzzle. As I filled in 13
Across – a four-letter word expressing sorrow, I
had a thought. Now there’s a fine word. Why does
no-one say ‘alas’ anymore?
I know that language isn’t static, and words seem
to have an inherent expiration date. They can be
cool for a while, then drop out of favor, and new ones
take their place.
But getting back to my puzzle, there are many
lovely words such as hie or thither, that have been
saved from the vocabulary graveyard by the sheer
fortune of becoming a response to a crossword clue!
I’m not suggesting we reach way back, like, let’s say, biblical
pronouns or all those “begats.” But methinks, perhaps, it’s not too
far reaching to dip into another century or two for some good oldfashioned
linguistic flavor.
Help me make “alas” the new “Oy vey.” To kick off my campaign, I
offer a brief list of words that I believe deserve a second chance.
EEK! A wonderful and succinct expression of alarm, fear, or surprise
that’s too much fun to be confined to cartoons or comic strips. Example:
EEK, it’s time for my colonoscopy again!
SCORE. No, not the result of a sports competition, but another word
for “twenty,” derived from counting sheep and making a mark when
the number was reached. Probably not in use since Abraham Lincoln,
I would like it reintroduced starting immediately. Example: When my
next big birthday comes due, I shall be Four Score.
EVENTIDE. A melodic word that means “end of
the day.” Example: It’s eventide somewhere; let’s
go have a drink!
EGAD. Don’t you just love “egad?” Say it
aloud. It’s an exclamation of surprise or anger. So
expressive. Example: Egad! It’s 7 am and I’ve run
out of coffee!
TRUMPERY. Things that look good but are
basically worthless. (I said THINGS, not PEOPLE!)
Example: I know for a fact that she shops at the
flea market, so her designer handbag collection is mere trumpery.
GADZOOKS. Another word you will love to say. Just try it. And worth
a lot of Scrabble points. It is an exclamation of surprise or indignation.
Example: Gadzooks! My scale says I’ve gained the Quarantine 15!
ZOUNDS. An alternative to Gadzooks! Make up your own example.
PIFFLE. Say it fast four times. Feels good, doesn’t it? It means trivial
nonsense. Example: Last night on Zoom my friends and I played Piffle
Pursuit and I won!
HUMBUG. Made popular by Scrooge, this little-used word means
false or deceptive. Example: The fashion model’s lush eyelashes were
definitely humbug.
This is by no means a complete list. It’s meant to kick-start a trend.
And please, feel free to add some old words of your own.
And just so I know you are truly with me in this endeavor, next time
you send me a text, be sure to include at least one flapdoodle!
Susan Goldfein’s newest book, How to Complain When There’s
Nothing to Complain About, is available at Amazon.com, BN.com,
Read her blog at: www.SusansUnfilteredWit.com. Email Susan:
SusanGoldfein@aol.com.
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28
April 2022