11

By: Vicki Wentz / Vicki’s Voice
Everyone’s back in school, including me. No,
not as in taking classes to become, say, a
doctor, but as in teaching classes so that I can
afford to go to the doctor.
I’m very excited to return to the classroom, especially to teaching
middle and high school
students, because I’ve
been totally out of the
loop on what’s cool
nowadays...for example,
it’s probably not cool to
say “nowadays.”
There were several
things that precipitated
my return to the
classroom as a substitute
teacher, things which
seem to be telling me
that Someone Up There
thinks it’s a good idea.
First of all, contrary
to popular belief (well,
contrary to a belief that
was popular with me)
writing newspaper/magazine columns does not mean instant fame
followed by incredible wealth. Of course, many columnists also write
books which may bring the incredible wealth - and I have been severely
lacking in such productions.
Which brings me to my second “sign” from above. I am submitting
a children’s book to a publisher this week, and I am scared to death
of being rejected! I thought I had the right frame of mind to handle
42
Following All the Signs Back to the Classroom
What A Show!
The cast from our Afternoon Affair show last month at Congregation
Ner Tamid. The show was a joint collaboration between The Vegas Voice,
Congregation Ner Tamid and Carnegie Heights of Henderson.
As Steve Soiferman from Carnegie Heights proclaimed: “What a
tremendous event! The audience members were dancing in the aisles!
Performers (L to R): Barbara Brighton, Renee Hale, Pete Peterkin &
Vegas Voice Entertainment Director and host Jonny Bird.
Photo: Courtesy David Weinstein.
November 2023
rejections. Turns out I’m a tad bit of a whiny weenie wimp (that’s
alliteration; don’t tell me I can’t write!).
I mean, Einstein’s Theory of Relativity was probably rejected by all
the Theory publishers before he made it big, right? I’m sure he got stuff
like, “Hey, this was so close!” or “See if you can add some jokes in here
and we’ll take another look!” or “Sadly, we have way too many books
on relativity right now - how about one on the science of bubble wrap?”
(Plus, I’ve tried
all of those rejection
arguments on the
electric company at billpaying
time, and they
didn’t, shall we say, light
up over it [and that, my
dear, is called a “pun”]
I am a smokin‘ writer!).
The third sign came
when I was selling my
house because I could
no longer afford to
live in it. Having put a
deposit on some land
back when I had plans
to be rich and famous,
it was eventually time to
build or bail, so I was committed – or should have been. And, I had to
sell.
Now I’m back to earning the enormous salary one makes as a
teacher (Did you hear that? That was the sound of 5,000 teachers
simultaneously spewing their morning coffee down their fronts.).
And there was one last sign: several friends and colleagues in the
classroom are having babies. Not that I had anything to do with that,
but it does kill two birds with one childbirth.
My friends get a gorgeous, perfect little baby, and I get the substitute
jobs I need - and who knows there may be several of us “having a
bottle” at 2:00 a.m., if you catch my drift.
Of course, you know I’m only kidding, folks. Teachers never drink
(and there’s that sound again!). Honestly, I was really looking forward
to getting back to the classroom this year.
When I left full-time teaching, I felt almost as much guilt as if I
were leaving my own children and I needed to hurry home to see if
the babysitter had gotten into the liquor cabinet. Sure, most teachers I
know are just the folks I’d be happy to leave my children with, but just
like when you ask the sitter to read “Goodnight, Moon” to your child at
bedtime, it’s somehow not the same as when you do it.
So, I’m seriously having a blast this year! But I’ll make you kids a
promise - if my book gets published, the next seven months may be one
loooong recess!
Vicki Wentz is a writer, teacher and speaker living in North
Carolina. Readers may contact her - and order her new children’s
book! - by visiting her website at www.vickiwentz.com.