VANGARDIST MAGAZINE - Issue 57 - The Fat Issue

90
radar
Laman
knows
best!
Whether you're a size L, XL or XXL, you'll always come across the most bizarre ways
to lose some of that extra baggage. Sure, diets are quite a personal thing and it varies
from individual to individual, but hey, ain't nobody got time for that! Let's take a look
at some ridiculous diet tips the world currently has to offer...
1. The Tapeworm Diet
Urban legend has it that apparently
Maria Callas did it, so why not have
a go at this very "exotic" diet? I'll tell
you why not: because it's friggin’ disgusting,
that's why!! Not only is it fucking
illegal in most countries and can
lead to serious problems in your body
(and even death), it also involves you
swallowig a worm egg pill and then
wait for this worm egg to hatch inside
your digestive tract and then have
this worm live inside you and feed off
the nutrients you get from the food
you consume. Oh, and listen to this:
It gets creepier! This fucking nasty
worm grows larger and larger from
all the food you eat and then after a
few months you have to take some pill
which then finally kills the worm. And
yes, you guessed it! You have to poop
that thing out! Plop ... ARGH!
2. The Cotton Ball Diet
You've probably already heard of this
one. Apparently it's quite popular
with models. The cotton ball diet basically
involves swallowing a cotton
ball dipped in some orange juice (or
smoothie, etc.) and when in the stomach,
it expands, which makes you
feel full. Sounds pretty stupid and
dangerous, huh? Well guess what, it
is! It can lead to choking, malnutrition,
infection in your digestive tract
and even death! Oh, and by the way:
most cotton balls aren't even made
out of real cotton, so actually this
diet should be called the chemical
ball diet! Kaboom!