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The Monster Menu<br />

To create a BIG BAD, use the same rules for creating an ADVENTURER. You<br />

may decide <strong>to</strong> give it any “race” (from Vampire <strong>to</strong> Were-avocado), but use<br />

the rules for stats and powers like any player character.<br />

To determine the stats for Boss Monsters and Minions, you can use the<br />

handy reference charts included here (or use the MONSTER SHAKER – still in<br />

development, but soon <strong>to</strong> our website).<br />

1) Select a Monster Family<br />

2) Determine the Danger <strong>Level</strong> (usually the DL of the Dungeon,<br />

unless the dM has spent skulls or dangers <strong>to</strong> make them<br />

<strong>to</strong>ugher).<br />

3) Write down the STAT DICE for the Monster Type<br />

4) Roll the HIT DIE once for each Danger <strong>Level</strong> (for Bosses only)<br />

5) Determine powers, damage, and defenses – by referencing<br />

the Danger <strong>Level</strong> on the Charts below<br />

6) For each DL, your minions and boss monsters have every<br />

power listed up <strong>to</strong> and including that level<br />

7) Name (and describe) your new found monster.<br />

Example: You look at your MADLIBrary and find that you get ‘OID minions<br />

and a Big Bad named Vorthos the Flavorful (a wizard oppressed with<br />

chocolate). It’s Danger <strong>Level</strong> 5, and you spend one danger <strong>to</strong> purchase a<br />

Boss Monster (a Weird Chocolate Pudding). For the ‘OID minions, you<br />

reference on the chart and get: SLAM and COOL WEAPONS powers, d8<br />

damage, defenses of Armor 8 Beef 9 Smarts 7 Luck 7. You decide that they<br />

are “Special Dark Goblins”. For the <strong>Level</strong> 5 Weird Boss, you get Claw, Hide<br />

&Sneak, and Coward as powers, roll a d4 5 times for HITS, and have<br />

defenses of Armor 9 Beef 8 Smarts 7 and Luck 7. You call him Chuckie, the<br />

Chocolate Pudding.<br />

Monster Families<br />

There are 5 basic Monster Families (all part of a well-balanced diet of<br />

Adventure): Beasties, Undead, ‘Oids, Darklings, and Weird. Each Family<br />

determines what type of dice <strong>to</strong> roll for each STAT, and has a special<br />

Edge/Bogie.<br />

Beasties: Beasties are animals, mythological creatures, dragons, and<br />

assorted possible wild game. Beasties are generally not happy <strong>to</strong> see an<br />

Adventurer, but won’t attack unless provoked (or really hungry). All Beasties<br />

do their BEEF in damage (due <strong>to</strong> sharp claws and pointy teeth).<br />

Undead: The Undead are the hideous animated remains of the once living.<br />

Ghosts, vampires, and zombies are all branches of the Undead Family Tree.<br />

The ‘Dead hate the living, and will always attack them in search of blood,<br />

brains, or sheer malicious fun. The Undead have +Immunity (Sharp Objects,<br />

Poison, and Disease). Unfortunately, they can’t go out in the sunlight, or<br />

they take 1 DAM per Turn.<br />

‘Oid: A catchall term for all of the semi-intelligent subterranean greenskinned<br />

races: Orks, Goblins, Trolls, Ogres, etc. ‘Oids generally like <strong>to</strong> eat<br />

Adventurers and steal their stuff, since ‘Oids don’t usually have access <strong>to</strong> the<br />

shopping centers of the Manlands. Even puny ’Oids are crafty fighters and<br />

deal +1 DAM on TOHIT rolls. Due <strong>to</strong> really thick skin, every ‘Oid starts with 4<br />

Armor Hits.<br />

Darkling: Every race (except for humans) has an evil subterranean<br />

counterpart that hates their Above World cousins with such intensity that<br />

their little faces are sometimes just a mass of hate wrinkles. Usually this is<br />

the result of an ancient blood feud or Thanksgiving argument that caused<br />

them <strong>to</strong> move underground and plot the demise of the sun-filled world.<br />

(We’ve all had Thanksgivings like that.) Most Darklings look just like their<br />

cousins, except their skin is coal black, they have white hair, and they hate<br />

everything their cousins love. Drowlings hate forests and hugs. Dwurflings<br />

hate mead and s<strong>to</strong>rytelling. Gnumenlings hate knick-knacks and love paddy<br />

whacks. Thirdlings hate farming and smoking. Eighthlings hate everything<br />

(and are bigger cheaters and liars than Quarterlings and half as tall).<br />

Ratlings much prefer sewers <strong>to</strong> cedar chips. Darklings use the same Stat<br />

Dice as their Above World brethren.<br />

Weird: This is the scientific category for everything else, the weird stuff –<br />

like Gelatinous Cubes, Eater Rooms, Walking Statues, and High School<br />

Science Teachers. Weird creatures have an advantage since they don’t have<br />

<strong>to</strong> make any sense – Giant Fuzzy Death Chickens, anyone?<br />

*Shameless Plug: While many people think Kobolds are ‘Oids (or worse yet,<br />

little scaly dragon people) – they are not green skinned at all but usually<br />

have fuzzy orange fur, sharp claws, and pointy teeth. They like <strong>to</strong> eat babies,<br />

hate chickens, and are definitely Beasties!

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