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PSYCHEDELICS - Sciencemadness.org

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49___________<br />

____________________________________________________ Psychedelics<br />

car passing over it. I got hungry, and we ate some fruit, the<br />

first of many such adventures from this point on.<br />

Later in the day there was again an increase in the profundity<br />

of the experience. From a discussion of parenting in<br />

general and mothering in particular, I went on to a discussion<br />

of my son and my relations with him, and finally cried for<br />

him for a long time. I did not want H. to help me through<br />

this situation, but I had to find my way myself. At the end of<br />

an epiphany of sorrow with my eyes closed, I saw a cave. I had<br />

a feeling of wings, and followed them up to the roof of the<br />

cave, which was like a basilica bathed in white light, which<br />

glowed through it. Gradually the light turned a bright yellow,<br />

and the light point was the sun, which moved back and forth<br />

like lightning. This vision ended and another vision replaced<br />

it in which I was moving toward the left along a series of intricately<br />

carved, horizontally placed poles. These suddenly<br />

parted and I looked into the face of The Dancer, who was<br />

wearing an Indian (Eastern) headdress, and then the poles<br />

closed. I was able to come out of the experience after this.<br />

From this point on, the experience began to abate, al-<br />

though residuals of the experience remain even today as I<br />

write this. Later in the day I had a sense of bulls and stone<br />

porches, and read H. the entire Lament for the Death of<br />

Ignacio Sánchez Mejias, by Lorca, which moved me greatly<br />

and seemed in some way to be about and for me. We con-<br />

tinued discussing the thoughts and ideas brought up by the<br />

day and dealt with some new issues as well. I noticed that<br />

whenever I dealt with questions that had emotional relevance<br />

for me, perceptual changes occurred. When I paid attention<br />

to the perceptual changes, they disappeared. There was a very<br />

interesting phenomenon, which lasted for a while, in which<br />

one particular patch of ground began to bubble and boil. This<br />

did not spread to any other part of the ground and was there<br />

to see whenever I chose to look at it.<br />

We returned to my home at about 10 P.M. My wife looked<br />

healthy and sunburned, pretty and petulant. I sat up for a<br />

while reading. I read a book of Zen koans and they made a<br />

great deal of sense emotionally. Not all of them seemed ap-<br />

plicable, but those that did, I understood intuitively, and I<br />

understood the events of the story even before I read the solu-

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