The Common Ground Network for Life and Choice Manual

Pro-life -------------------------------o------------------------------- Pro-choice
• Connective thinking: Common ground dialogue encourages connective thinking that focuses attention on the
strengths, the pieces of wisdom and truth, in what is said. This is the opposite of critical thinking and debate, in
which listeners hone in on the speaker’s weaknesses and prepare for a response.
• Genuine questions: Genuine questions are those for which we truly seek answers. Rhetorical questions are
those for which we already know the answer. We throw rhetorical or leading questions out to test or trap an
opponent. When the opponent gives the wrong answer, we score a victory. Only genuine questions belong in a
common ground process.
• Active listening: One problem encountered in a conflict over strongly held beliefs is that people tend to talk
past one another. They also frequently answer a question not asked instead of the one actually posed.
Typically, people feel that no one on the “other side” has ever really listened to, or acknowledged, them. One
way to address these dynamics is to encourage participants to reflect back to one another what they hear being
said, or asked. This is a paraphrase or summary, or an acknowledgment of an emotion that is being conveyed.
In an e-mail conversation, while everything is in writing, there is still the potential for ignoring or
misinterpreting another’s remarks.
Why dialogue via e-mail?
For several years now, the Network has organized workshops for dialogue on abortion and has assisted interested
persons in organizing and sustaining ongoing local groups. While these avenues have been very successful, time
and again we hear that people who would like to participate in a dialogue group can't, because such a group doesn't
exist in their area, or because their schedule doesn't allow them to attend meetings. For people who fall into one of
these categories, dialogue via e-mail is a solution.
How will the group work?
By now, you have probably realized that this group is not going to be your typical LISTSERV discussion group.
There are some similarities, mechanically speaking. Your e-mail address will be stored on a list by our computer.
You will send messages to the list address, which redirects your message to everyone on the list. That's where the
commonality ends, however. Here is a brief breakdown of the aspects of our e-mail group that will ensure a healthy
and productive dialogue.
Facilitation. A facilitator will be present on the distribution list. The role of the facilitator will be to set the pace of
the dialogue by posing questions and to ensure that the ground rules are respected. The facilitator will not monitor
your questions before they go out to the group, but will give direct feedback and guidance when needed. What this
means in practical terms is that the facilitator may let people know that he or she feels the line has been crossed into
attempts to convert, or into disrespect. The facilitator may need to remind a participant to speak as “I” instead of
“we”. Or the facilitator may ask someone to rephrase a question that is overly rhetorical or provocative into a
genuine question of curiosity. The facilitator might also suggest some active listening or ask for specific examples
or experiences if it seems people are having trouble understanding a response. The facilitator is also available to be
contacted directly by any participant who becomes concerned about how the dialogue is going.
Pace of the dialogue. The pace of the dialogue will be slow but consistent. The facilitator will pose a dialogue
question and then every participant will give one response. Next the facilitator will ask a follow up question or
request a clarification, to which every participant will also give one response. At the facilitator's discretion,
dialogue will move to a new question using the same sequence. This "convey and response" style may seem very
slow, but will prevent the "free for all" that often undermines the quality and discipline of dialogue in other on-line
discussion groups.
Participants will not merely be present on our distribution list, but will be asked to have a presence in the
group. The facilitator will initiate a question or other prompt every two days. This means making the commitment
to checking your e-mail once every other day and staying engaged in the discussion.