The Common Ground Network for Life and Choice Manual

CHAPTER THREE:
PLANNING FOR DIALOGUE
The one activity basic to all groups is coming together to talk and listen for the
purpose of gaining understanding of one another and exploring shared values and
concerns. The focus is on dialogue—promoting trust and understanding and putting a
human face on the conflict. Our experience, and that of others, confirms that this phase is
critical and valuable in itself, producing new wisdom, new relationships, and hope.
This chapter assumes the existence of a core group (two or more people) with both prochoice
and pro-life participation, that wants to gather a larger group for this kind of dialogue.
Planning for dialogue must go through several steps.
Planning Steps
Trustbuilding
The first step is to build sufficient trust in the core group. We have found that people on
opposing sides of an issue cannot work together effectively until this happens. The way to build
trust is to spend time together sharing goals and reasons for wanting to initiate common ground.
Exhibiting mutual respect and refraining from attempts to convert are essential. Reaching an
agreement about language is usually needed. (Our use of “pro-choice” and “pro-life” is a
decision to call each side the name they call themselves. Not everyone likes this, but it works to
keep an agreement about labels from derailing things before they really begin.) The kind of gettogether
we are talking about here can be as informal as meeting in a local spot for coffee.