The Common Ground Network for Life and Choice Manual

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f) Encouraging people to use "I" messages instead of "you" messages (accusations.) The idea is that instead of a person saying, “You don’t care about children!” they compose their statement in terms of describing the other’s behavior, the feelings that behavior invokes in them, and why. So, using the example, we get something like, "I feel upset when you only talk about women, because I assume the child means nothing to you.” An “I statement” can be reasonably responded to, when an accusation often cannot. While a dialogue is not generally a good place for putting extensive attention on one person’s communication style, it can be useful to discuss this I-statement idea for everyone if the group is engaging in mutual accusation. If a single person seems stuck on accusation, the facilitator can lead him or her to a reframed statement by interjecting a series of questions like: “What is it that X does [says] that makes you think this? Why do you draw this conclusion? How does this make you feel?” g) Asking speakers to stick to describing others' actions without evaluating/judging them. This often has to do with choice of words. "She's a loudmouth" loses the judgment and provides more information if it changes to, "She spoke loudly and more than anyone else there."). The facilitator can interject a question after such a statement like, "Would you tell us what she did?" explaining that information about behavior instead of just a judgment is going to make this statement much more understandable to others. h) Talking directly to participants about how they are communicating and suggesting another approach. This includes noting any hesitancy to speak that you observe. In some situations if things really get off track, it can help to ask the group to take a time out and sit quietly for a minute to let things calm down before resuming the conversation.
Appendix 4.2 COMMON GROUND DIALOGUE WORKSHOP Facilitator Work plan and Schedule 9:00-9:15: Check-in, coffee, and snack. 9:15-9:30: Welcome, Introduction, and Opening Remarks. • Who are we and why are we here? Each participant is asked to, in one sentence, give name, organizational or other affiliation if desired, role in the workshop, e.g., facilitator, prochoice participant, pro-life participant, part of organizing group, and why they have come. This is done in a go-around. • Briefly review workshop schedule and logistics. 9:30-10:00: Full Group Session. • What is the "common ground approach?" The "common ground concepts" are explained, and ground rules are reviewed. • What do we believe? The Common Ground Opinion Survey is introduced; participants complete this in the last 10 minutes of the session, before going into small groups. • Small group assignments are announced. The facilitator for each group is identified and the place where the group will meet is indicated. 10:00-11:30: Small Group Dialogues: Pro-choice and pro-life participants with facilitator. • What are the personal experiences that brought you to your current views regarding abortion? Discussion in small groups follows format outlined in "Facilitator Guidesheet for Initial Small Group Session." [Appendix 4.3] 11:30-11:45: BREAK. 11:45-12:15: Full Group Session: Discussion, sharing by small groups. • What were the important and/or surprising insights in your small groups? • How did the dialogue go?
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The Common Ground Network for Life
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Common Ground Concepts Appendix 1.1
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over abortion. The Network came int
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together out of a mutual commitment
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About the Authors Mary Jacksteit wa
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others are “wrong.” Debate tend
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other people with the same label, d
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etween people related to one anothe
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Appendix 1.1 THE COMMON GROUND DIAL
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• Dialogue questions, not “topi
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Appendix 1.3 The Search for Common
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CHAPTER TWO: GETTING STARTED People
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Page 31 and 32: CHAPTER THREE: PLANNING FOR DIALOGU
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Page 43 and 44: Appendix 3.1 WORKSHOP PLANNING MEET
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Page 51 and 52: Appendix 3.4 Sample letter to small
Page 53 and 54: Appendix 3.6 COMMON GROUND DIALOGUE
Page 55 and 56: Session Time: 30 minutes.
Page 57 and 58: (5 meaning strongest agreement and
Page 59 and 60: COMPARISON OPINION SURVEY If you ar
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Page 63 and 64: Appendix 3.9 OPINION SURVEY RESULTS
Page 65 and 66: Appendix 3.10 Exploring Stereotypes
Page 67: COMMON GROUND WORKSHOP Evaluation Q
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Page 72 and 73: address another aspect of structuri
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Page 95 and 96: CHAPTER FIVE: “WHAT NEXT?” Freq
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Page 112 and 113: Appendix 5.4 A Structured Community
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Engaging one's adversaries in a pos
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Appendix 6.1 On-Line Dialogue Dear
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Time frame. In order to give the gr
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CHAPTER SEVEN: ADAPTING THE DIALOGU
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undermine the genuineness of the di
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Discussion in small groups follows
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Afternoon Small Group Session [This
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Appendix 7.1 A Day of Dialogue on G
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otherwise. Another problem is that
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Appendix 8.1 COMMON GROUND CONFEREN
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ealize," agrees Frederica Mathewes-
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CHAPTER NINE: RESOURCES There are c
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PO Box 203, 697 Pomfret St. Pomfret
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The Common Ground Network for Life and Choice Manual

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