The Common Ground Network for Life and Choice Manual

The dialogue design presented in the workshop plans uses active listening very proactively to
change communication patterns. Aside from these scripted uses of active listening,
whenever there is room for misunderstanding of a question or a statement, it is good to ask
for this form of restatement from someone on the other side of the conflict. A simple
statement works such as, "Can one of you who are pro-life please restate Ellie's question, so
that we are sure we all know what she is asking?"
Active listening can also be an effective way to defuse strong emotions or an argumentative
tone. Assurance that a concern or viewpoint has been heard may reduce the person’s need to
intensify or repeat what he or she is saying. (More on this in section 4, below.)
3. Provide Time to Think. We ask facilitators to pause for a minute after introducing a
dialogue question to allow participants time to consider their answer. This helps to produce
thoughtful responses that are within the limited time frame that is given for answering. It
also lets people devote themselves to listening once the dialogue begins because they have
already thought about what to say. Last, this pause “levels the playing field” between people
who are always to ready to talk, and those who need more time to put thoughts into words.
4. Alternate Speakers. There are two factors operating here. One is that the facilitator needs
to appear even-handed. Another is that it is usually uncomfortable for people to listen to at
least some parts of what is said by those with whom they strongly disagree. For these
reasons have speakers in the initial round of responding to a dialogue questions so that no
one side “has the floor” for too long at a time. If the group undertakes the second small
group dialogue activity of asking one another questions not taking turns in this way results in
people on one side being on the answering end for what feels like an uncomfortably long
time before the others get a chance to ask their questions. Beyond the initial round of
responses, this can be let go unless you notice the participants on one side dominating the
conversation.
5. Draw out the Common Ground. The facilitator’s ear should be attuned to picking up
themes, experiences, emotions and concerns that run through the conversation and cross the
lines of conflict. The group can be asked if they have heard any commonalities. The
facilitator may suggest what he or she is hearing and test whether this conforms to
participants’ perceptions. This should not be forced or artificial. But it is important.
Because people usually come to dialogue on this and like issues with an assumption that a
vast sea of difference divides them from their opposites, the early discovery of anything
shared – e.g. the same anxiety about dialogue, the identical or a similar hero (these are
opening questions in the initial small group dialogue) -- begins to break down that
perception. As the dialogue progresses, the emergence of overlapping values and concerns
becomes energizing and exciting for participants. Probably the most frequent answer to our
evaluation question asking what participants liked best about a workshop is, they learned