VOObyM

Reminiscences of a Stock Operator
never be able to accomplish anything useful so long as I was worried, and it was equally
plain that I should be worried so long as I owed money. I mean, as long as any creditor
had the power to vex me or to interfere with my coming back by insisting upon being
paid before I could get a decent stake together. This was all so obviously true that I said
to myself, "I must go through bankruptcy." What else could relieve my mind?
It sounds both easy and sensible, doesn't it? But it was more than unpleasant, I can tell
you. I hated to do it. I hated to put myself in a position to be misunderstood or
misjudged. I myself never cared much for money. I never thought enough of it to
consider it worth while lying for. But I knew that everybody didn't feel that way. Of
course I also knew that if I got on my feet again I'd pay everybody off, for the obligation
remained. But unless I was able to trade in the old way I'd never be able to pay back that
million.
I nerved myself and went to see my creditors. It was a mighty difficult thing for me to
do, for all that most of them were personal friends or old acquaintances.
I explained the situation quite frankly to them. I said: "I am not going to take this step
because I don't wish to pay you but because, in justice to both myself and you, I must
put myself in a position to make money. I have been thinking of this solution off and on
for over two years, but I simply didn't have the nerve to come out and say so frankly to
you. It would have been infinitely better for all of us if I had. It all simmers down to this:
I positively cannot be my old self while I am harassed or upset by these debts. I have
decided to do now what I should have done a year ago. I have no other reason than the
one I have just given you."
What the first man said was to all intents and purposes what all of them said. He spoke
for his firm.
"Livingston," he said, "we understand. We realise your position perfectly. I'll tell you
what we'll do: we'll just give you a release. Have your lawyer prepare any kind of paper
you wish, and we'll sign it."
That was in substance what all my big creditors said. That is one side of Wall Street for
you. It wasn't merely careless good nature or sportsmanship. It was also a mighty
intelligent decision, for it was clearly good business. I appreciated both the good will
and the business gumption.
- 148 -