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Meeting-The-Challenge-Making-a-Difference-Practitioner-Guide

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Learning points from Chapter 3<br />

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<strong>The</strong> child or baby will be affected by poor quality or abusive<br />

care, but the child’s temperament may also affect the way they<br />

are treated by others.<br />

Experiences in childhood which are harmful may take the<br />

form of extreme and traumatic events, or more apparently<br />

low-key negative experiences repeated regularly over a long<br />

period of time.<br />

Different cultures and at different times in history people have<br />

had different ideas about the best way to treat children. From<br />

observing the lives of people with personality disorder, we now<br />

have a clearer idea of the kinds of experiences that can be<br />

harmful, and the kinds of things that help children to develop<br />

flexible, resilient personalities.<br />

Having a caregiver in childhood who attended to and thought<br />

about what we were feeling and experiencing, helps us to<br />

develop a reliable ability to think about our own emotions and<br />

those of others.<br />

For some people, biological vulnerability, experiences in relation<br />

to caregivers, trauma and social disadvantage, add up to<br />

create a path towards personality disorder.<br />

Good experiences in childhood in relation to key figures –<br />

teachers, parents, grandparents – can do a lot to build good<br />

attachment patterns and resilience.<br />

Someone who has had lifelong problems may not be looking to<br />

‘recover’ their previous functioning, but will be wanting to<br />

explore new ways of being,‘discovery’ not ‘ recovery’.<br />

37

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