Untitled - St.Francis Magazine

St Francis Magazine Vol 8, No 2 | April 2012 though I could often feel insecure passing through check-­‐points especially, my security was knowing that I had local friends who knew me, loved me, and would take care of me if anything went wrong. Getting to know and enjoy the country and culture where I’m living has also been key to keeping me away from my home country. On days off, spending time exploringthe country with friends who wish to be a little adventurous and enjoying some of the attractions it has to offer, have been energizing. I was asked to move to one country that at the time was occupied by two different countries. I agreed to go as the first partner after many years, with one proviso that, if war broke out, I would be allowed to leave immediately. The company agreed. However, when that time came, and the bombing started, I felt so at home in the country and so familiar with the land that I told the company that I wouldn’t leave even if they said I should! By that stage I felt very secureand the people meant so much to me. Also, I was taking on that hopeful nature of the local people who had been through years of instability and trauma. Over the years, I’ve learnt that working every hour God sends me is not what my worth and security are based on. Once I was on the road to burnout but, thank God, this was recognised and good advice was given. Keeping a good balance between work, fun (though sometimes that’s been hard to organise), fitness etc has been essential to my longevity abroad. A long time ago I gave up feeling guilty when I looked at other workers and compared their hours of work with mine. Looking at them I wondered where their hope was centred; just in doing an 18 hour day? Instead of allowing myself to feel insecure and inadequate, or may-­‐be not up to these peoples’ standard, I’ve accepted what I can do, realising that’s okay with God. I don’t have to be constantly comparing myself with others as that makes me feel insecure, and hope of making any difference to those around me begins to fail. Over the years this could have 112