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Be Not Afraid Beyond Medicineterminally ill people would prefer to die at home, as shedid – in her own bed, surrounded by the love of familyand friends. But the truth is that most spend their finaldays in hospitals, attached to tubes and monitors, andcared for by virtual strangers. And the result is thatinstead of being able to use their last days looking overtheir lives – sharing memories, farewelling friends,celebrating the past (or making peace with it) – theyspend them in a clinical setting, fending off theinevitable.The reasons for this are numerous. On the one hand,the remarkable advances made by medical science inthe last few decades alone have raised expectationson every front, and among oncologists and otherspecialists in particular, the desire to demonstrateinvincibility is often extremely strong. As an Ivy Leaguemedical professor wrote in a recent article in TIME, the“fighter-pilot mentality of success in the face of mortaldanger” that is drilled into young doctors leaves fartoo many of them forgetful of their humanity. “Theyworship at the shrine of scientific objectivity, and theywrap themselves in a mantle of depersonalization…allin the name of victory over death.” No wonder so manyfind it hard to let go when a dying person insists onrelinquishing further treatment – they have beeneducated never to concede defeat.1