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Be Not Afraid ReadinessChapter 8ReadinessXaverie, an energetic, cheerful woman, was a devotedwife and mother. Her illness came in the prime oflife – she was thirty-three – and it struck suddenly,just after the birth of her second child, Gareth. First hereyes ached, then she had stomach pains, then lumps onher scalp. She began by taking Tylenol; within a weekshe was on morphine. Several days later she was gone.When Xaverie found out she had cancer, she wasalmost awed by it. To her husband, John, she said,“Well, God does not ask us to carry more than we canbear, so he must feel that I can carry this.” And to hermother: “You know, my greatest fear in life was thatI would get cancer. Yet the minute I heard I had it, Ihad absolutely no fear.” Later her mother, Sibyl, wrote,“When we heard her diagnosis, she said, ‘John, Mama,I want no long faces, no tears. I don’t want this to be abig holy experience. I want it to be a joyful, childlikeone.’ I gulped inwardly, and possibly John did too.6