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Be Not Afraid sufferingFor many people, the belief that pain can be overcomeby biting your lip and riding out the storm is coupledwith the fear that it is the only thing they can do, shortof letting down their guard and exposing their truefeelings. They refuse to do this, because they feel themask of invincibility provides at least some protection.But far from shielding them against pain, this maskonly hurts them: in hiding their pain from others, itforces them to carry it silently and alone.Others try to deal with suffering by wishing it away,or pretending it isn’t there. But as Fran, who lost ason to cancer, points out, this is strenuous (if notimpossible) in the long run:Suffering cannot be put off forever, and when it comes,there is no way around the pain. Maybe that knowledgeonly comes with age and experience. But if I ever haveto go through it again in my life, I hope I have graspedit. Life is hard, and there are some things that hurt – nomatter how much you try to smooth them over or makethem nicer. You might as well hit suffering head on whenit comes your way, because it won’t just disappear.For Fran’s husband, who dragged himself throughthe first months of their son’s illness trying to keep agame face, meeting suffering head on entails utmost11