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Be Not Afraid GriefRandy, said shortly after his son’s death, “It’s a greattemptation to throw myself back into my work, mydaily rhythm, or whatever. But I can’t do that if I’mgoing to gain anything from going through all this.God spoke through Matt’s illness and death, and Idon’t want to ‘get over it.’ I want to be challenged andchanged for the rest of my life.”Traditionally, the first step of grieving is preparing thebody for viewing, and then for burial or cremation, andfor Matt’s brother, Nick, this was an important step incoming to terms with his loss:Grieving is hard, but it can bring you together withother people. My dad and I helped dress Matt after hedied, and Matt’s doctor made us feel that we could help,although he said we didn’t have to if we’d rather not.It was good to be incorporated into things instead ofstepping back and watching everything happen. I thinkyou end up feeling numb when you’re just an observer.It was scary to put on Matt’s clothes and to feel hislimp body, but at the same time I wouldn’t have missedit. It was the last service – the last act of love – I coulddo for him.If you just walk away from a death, there’s not muchmore you can say than, “Wow, what just happened?” But18