Download - The Perfect Wisdom Web

Be Not Afraid sufferingthat a conscious taboo existed. But “negative” lifeexperiences were rarely, if ever, discussed outside thefamily. We simply didn’t “go there,” conversation-wise.As a working adult, I found the same silence, thesame walls carefully constructed around each personallife. When the wife of an engineer at my firm – a kindlyman I regarded as a mentor – came down with cancer,he brushed off every expression of sympathy. It seemedas though he was obeying some unspoken code wherebyvulnerability is seen as instability, and pain as weakness.Obviously he couldn’t afford to be associated with either.He had to remain strong.I know Ed loved his wife dearly, but to this day I amamazed at the lengths he went to detach himself fromher suffering, at least on the job. One day he told merather matter-of-factly that his wife’s tumor had burst; afew days later he walked into the office and announcedthat his wife had died that morning. I was incredulousthat he had come to work – though it’s possible therewas no one at home for him to talk to. On the otherhand, the way he dealt with losing his spouse was hardlyout of sync with the way everything else was dealt within our workaday world. There was never any lack ofcamaraderie, but it was only a façade. When the chipswere down, you kept a lid on things – no matter howmuch you were hurting.114