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Be Not Afraid Caringto relieve him, and it was a rare respite when Dad couldslip into anything deeper than a restless doze.Dad did not die. He hung on, but recovery has notbeen quick to follow. Though physically somewhatstronger now, he still requires 24-hour care, and hisonce keen interest in life has been hard to rekindle. Hisdoctor’s repeated assurances that recovery will comewith time have begun to sound empty.Before his illness, Dad was always used to being incontrol of his life. Now it’s just a small world, but he’s stillvery much in charge: if you want to take him for a ride,it’s too cold; if his nurse disappears for a few moments,he watches the clock for his return; if it’s three in themorning and he thinks it’s time for his morning shower,it’s impossible to get him back to sleep. One day I triedto put lotion on his dry, scaly skin. “Too greasy,” he said,so I put the bottle away. As time goes on, I’ve had tocome to terms with being unable to undo his pain, andto trust that my presence will somehow convey what Icannot accomplish through actions…Joan feels privileged to help care for her father. Butshe admits that she does feel hopelessly inadequate attimes, and she is certain that without the bonds of lovethat keep a family together, the unavoidable tensionswould soon create cracks, if not deep fissures.161