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Be Not Afraid Fearconcerned with his physical condition, at least at first,and peppered his doctors with all sorts of questions.What was the cause of the lymphoma? How effectivewas the treatment supposed to be? What were hischances of survival? What did this or that medicalterm mean? Within a few days, however, his overridingconcern had changed to his spiritual state. It was as ifhe sensed that his life had taken an irreversible turnand that no matter what the outcome, he needed to setit in order. As his family doctor later remembered:I dropped by Matt’s room two days after he’d beendischarged and noticed that he’d been crying. I askedhim what was up and he told me, in brief, that he hadhad a long talk with his dad and that he felt he hadto deepen his life. He said there were things on hisconscience that he needed to tell someone about. Healso said he felt “scared and lonely.”I suggested that he try to get out of the house inthe next few days, even if he felt rotten. Maybe thatwould help. But he just looked past me and said, “Myrelationship with God is not what it should be.”I assured him that all of us needed to deepen our lives,not just him, and that his illness was helping us all torealize our need for God. Matt just lay there with big weteyes, staring straight ahead, absorbing the gravity of his14