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Be Not Afraid Griefon about it. They want you to deposit it like you do in abank.No wonder so many people feel they need to get overtheir grief quickly – and nobly to boot. Most will findthis impossible to do; and in my experience, even thosewho succeed in hardening themselves so as to emergeintact will find out sooner or later that they cannot trulyheal without allowing themselves time to grieve. Afterall, grief is the innate urge to go on loving someone whois no longer there, and to be loved back. And insofaras we hold ourselves back (or allow someone else tohold us back) from bringing this urge to expression,we will remain frustrated, and we will never heal. Inother words, grief is the soul’s natural response to loss,and should not be repressed. Writer Anne MorrowLindbergh, whose son was kidnapped and killed whenhe was a baby, advises:One must grieve, and one must go through periods ofnumbness that are harder to bear than grief. One mustrefuse the easy escapes offered by habit and humantradition. The first and most common offerings offamily and friends are always distractions (“Take herout” – “Get her away” – “Change the scene” – “Bring in181