Journey Back to Eden.pdf - St Mark Coptic Orthodox Church Chicago

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A TIME TO PRESS ONWARD 171So, in this interpretation, the ostrich comes off in a much betterlight. Its egg is hung above the lamp to lay it bare to the gaze ofGod, just as we are always laid before the gaze of God, revealed tohis sight. These and similar meditations I have kept in my mindthroughout my months of living in this monastery when I look upat the oil lamps.But last night I saw a scrawny desert rat crawling along a groovein the wall, creeping very slowly and with great stealth. It proceededto slide down the wire till it came to the egg. However, when ittried to navigate the large, smooth surface, it couldn’t get a grip. Itslittle claws had been so tightly closed around the wire that when itcame to the egg, it couldn’t open them wide enough to hold onto it.So it slipped off the egg and fell to the ground. The rat seemed tobe injured by the fall. It scurried away in great discomfort, havingfailed to obtain the oil that it wished to drink from the lamp below.So it turns out that the eggs actually have a practical purpose. Theykeep the rats away from the lamps, away from the oil reserve whichthey might otherwise try to drink, desert rats being omnivorous.How interesting that a little observation can reveal the hiddenmeanings of things, that the explanations that people give are oftenonly part of the story. I don’t question for a moment the symbolismattached to the ostrich eggs suspended over the oil lamps. But I believethere was a practical origin to this custom which then becameelaborated into a variety of symbolic and spiritual interpretationsthereafter. This may be just one example of many explanationsgiven in religious and civil societies by which we try to account forthe ways handed on to us, not so much in terms of the practicalreasons for which they were started, but in terms of the symbolicinterpretations which they later acquired.Blessings GraspedMAY 9, SATURDAYIt seems to me that the number of pilgrims has been increasingthroughout the Easter season. Today the church was crowded withthem. Many of the monks who ordinarily mill about the monasteryseem to be hiding. The pilgrims are beginning to oppress them.The “dispensation” of the Easter celebration has passed and themonks do not wish to be seen. They do not wish to be taxed by somany requests to converse, to pray, to confess, and to bless them. I
172 MAYeven saw monks trying to get away from pilgrims today by physicallyfleeing, raising their habits up to their knees, so that their legswere freer to run. Nevertheless, two pilgrims took it on themselvesto run after the monks. Then was enacted before my eyes a formalritual of desert monastic life that I had read about, but had not actuallyseen till now.In both cases, the monks did not run fast enough to out-distancethe ones who were seeking their blessing. In both cases, eachpilgrim grabbed hold of the ankles of the monk he was pursuing,and stopped him dead in his tracks. He obliged the monk to give ablessing, or to say a word, or he would not let go! In both cases,the monk seemed to accept this form of captivity as a necessarycomponent of his vocation in the desert. He turned around to hiscaptor, blessed him, and gave him a word or two of spiritual advice.How wonderful this ritual, this formality, by which the monkknows not to run too fast, by which the pursuer knows his effortswill not be answered with curses or reproaches. Built into the featof capture is the grace of blessing and encouragement!It seems to me that there are biblical parallels to this, such asJacob wrestling with the angel in the Book of Genesis. He struggledwith the angel all night and then, when the angel finally triedto escape before dawn, Jacob said he wouldn’t let him go unless hereceived a blessing. So the angel blessed him and gave him thename “Israel,” thereby bestowing on him God’s special favor.Debilitating HeatMAY 12, TUESDAYHow heavy and slow I feel in this heat! All things take longerto do. Every step seems to be slower; every thought, every ideaseems to proceed with greater gravity. I understand now, physically,why people in tropical climates are regarded as more easy-goingthan those in Nordic climes.Afternoon activity in the monastery seems to have been suspended,and we are only in the middle of May. How it will be inthe middle of July or August I can only begin to imagine. But themonastic liturgical routine continues as ever. I understand betterand better now why the greatest number of hours dedicated toprayer are scheduled during the night. In the winter, it is too cold
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Copyright © 2002 by Mark Gruber, O
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JOURNEY BACK TO EDENMy Life and Tim
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In gratitude to Abuna Elia,the sain
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CONTENTSPreface ...................
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PREFACEWhile in Egypt, I did not in
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PREFACExiElia, to whom this journal
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ABOUT THE COPTS AND THEIR DESERT MO
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2 INTRODUCTIONI will be traveling i
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4 INTRODUCTIONmy novitiate and had
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6 SEPTEMBERlarge high-rises. Appare
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8 SEPTEMBERprior to their trip so t
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10 SEPTEMBERyour hands—as much or
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12 SEPTEMBERA Beggar among BeggarsT
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14 SEPTEMBERlabored without rest or
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FATHER JOHN WATSONHis Holiness Pope
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18 SEPTEMBERHe drew a cross on top
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20 SEPTEMBERBlessed Lord,You brough
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22 SEPTEMBERtude, and silence, appr
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OCTOBERA TIME OF NEW BEGINNINGSThe
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26 OCTOBERcontradictions they fear
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28 OCTOBERdramatic effect of my hea
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30 OCTOBERWill my heart remain here
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NOVEMBERA TIME TO VISIT ABRAHAMGues
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34 NOVEMBERThe guest master, it tur
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Abuna Elia
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38 NOVEMBERBut in their case, he as
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40 NOVEMBERafter the death of Sarah
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42 NOVEMBERto take his son. All the
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44 NOVEMBERhe sojourned in Egypt in
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46 NOVEMBERthe monastic ideal to a
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48 NOVEMBERArabic LessonsNOVEMBER 2
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50 NOVEMBEROf course, it is not tru
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52 NOVEMBERthe Ark of Noah looked l
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54 NOVEMBERits life-giving water fr
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56 NOVEMBERCross more brightly: fal
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DECEMBERA TIME OF SIGNS: CAELUM ET
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60 DECEMBERfirst sold ourselves to
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62 DECEMBERis by fasting, most of a
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64 DECEMBERficient. If they can obt
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66 DECEMBERThe great apparitions of
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68 DECEMBERKing of the Jews, by the
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70 DECEMBEREveryone seeks the assis
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72 DECEMBERDECEMBER 15, MONDAYAlmos
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74 DECEMBERfor her. She is delighte
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76 DECEMBERtween Alexandria and Cai
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78 DECEMBERboth are real in the bod
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80 DECEMBERof faith which preserves
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82 DECEMBERI feel particularly sorr
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84 DECEMBERThe children—six, seve
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JANUARYA TIME OF CELEBRATIONJANUARY
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88 JANUARYEveryone, it seems, is mi
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90 JANUARYA Holiday VisitOn the eve
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92 JANUARYAlmost the whole orientat
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94 JANUARYI blessed water in their
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96 JANUARYI find myself in the unus
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98 JANUARYferent path, and every da
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100 JANUARYyour ageless love are cr
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102 JANUARYless because they’re a
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FATHER JOHN WATSONA Coptic Orthodox
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106 JANUARYheard a voice—perhaps
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108 JANUARYI reflected afterwards a
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110 JANUARYsolitude and in terms of
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112 FEBRUARYjust visiting the deser
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114 FEBRUARYJust then some of the p
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116 FEBRUARYThe children of the Pha
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118 FEBRUARYAbuna Elia said that th
Page 135 and 136: 120 FEBRUARYGod. For all Christians
Page 137 and 138: 122 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 18, WEDNESDAYD
Page 139 and 140: 124 FEBRUARYsources. I had some of
Page 141 and 142: 126 FEBRUARYshall be a sign and a w
Page 143 and 144: 128 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 28, SATURDAYTh
Page 145 and 146: 130 MARCHmerich, the German mystic
Page 147 and 148: 132 MARCHThe wildflower meadows her
Page 149 and 150: 134 MARCHbishop who resides near he
Page 151 and 152: 136 MARCHOf Building Bonds and Brea
Page 153 and 154: 138 MARCHSprings in the DesertMARCH
Page 155 and 156: 140 MARCHwomen in the West experien
Page 157 and 158: 142 MARCHlunch somewhere, or they h
Page 159 and 160: 144 MARCHbe willing to move from my
Page 161 and 162: 146 MARCHA Fly on the WallMARCH 31,
Page 163 and 164: APRILA TIME OF CONSECRATIONOf Sands
Page 165 and 166: Grass mats cover the floor of a mon
Page 167 and 168: 152 APRILmony. Even recently, some
Page 169 and 170: 154 APRILwho are distributed everyw
Page 171 and 172: 156 APRILIn the papal compound I me
Page 173 and 174: 158 APRILin their own home parish.
Page 175 and 176: 160 APRILAfter greeting me he told
Page 177 and 178: 162 APRILI keep reminding myself th
Page 179 and 180: 164 APRILA Rare Spring HolidayAPRIL
Page 181 and 182: 166 APRILthat the very same innocen
Page 183 and 184: MAYA TIME TO PRESS ONWARDOases and
Page 185: 170 MAYthe commotion associated wit
Page 189 and 190: 174 MAYNevertheless, I ask you to a
Page 191 and 192: 176 MAYof grace that people can enf
Page 193 and 194: 178 MAYI’m staying at the house o
Page 195 and 196: 180 JUNEThe Cave of a SaintJUNE 5,
Page 197 and 198: 182 JUNEThe abbot of the monastery
Page 199 and 200: The gate of St. Anthony Monastery.
Page 201 and 202: 186 JUNEno place to lay his head”
Page 203 and 204: 188 JUNE“Fountains and Springs, B
Page 205 and 206: 190 JUNEmonks here, I decided to dr
Page 207 and 208: 192 JUNEof his family—and broke e
Page 209 and 210: JULYA TIME FOR FAREWELLSThe Crucibl
Page 211 and 212: 196 JULYare known in Egypt, and the
Page 213 and 214: 198 JULYthat, the heat is now reall
Page 215 and 216: 200 JULYbering the slap I received
Page 217 and 218: 202 JULYyou for our founder who cam
Page 219 and 220: 204 JULYJULY 23, THURSDAYI returned
Page 221 and 222: 206 JULYprize that Eve forfeited wh
Page 223: AFTERWORDFifteen years have passed
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