Journey Back to Eden.pdf - St Mark Coptic Orthodox Church Chicago

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A TIME OF SIGNS: CAELUM ET TERRA 63Blessings for PilgrimsDECEMBER 4, THURSDAYI’ve been observing pilgrims who come to the monastery.Rarely do the monks consider them to be sources of diabolic temptation,though surely they test the patience of the monks. But thisis the test of compassion and charity. The pilgrims, for their part,see the monks as sources of divine blessing, sources of barakah.They seek from the monks God’s grace, because they believe thatthe monks are the proximate source of blessing that he has establishedfor them. They come out into the desert; they leave theirhomes, their places of business, of work, even their places of failureand sin and frustration so that they will be in a place available toholiness, not just geographically but, if there is such a thing, in thelandscape of the soul. By being pilgrims, they are in a place that isopen to a special channel of divine assistance.How do the monks bless them? In ways that are establishedand conditioned by their history, even by their culture. If the pilgrimssomehow manage to touch the hands of a monk, they believethat to be a blessing, especially if they can kiss his hand. If theymanage to hold onto the ankle or the feet of a monk, they considerthat to be a source of blessing. It is an even greater blessing if theycan kiss the feet of the monk.In all of these situations, the monk appears to try to pull away.He seems reluctant to allow his hands or his feet to be touched or tobe kissed. But it’s part of the give-and-take of the relationship betweenthe monk and the pilgrim. It’s almost a kind of choreographyof reluctance and desire: reluctance on the monk’s part, and desireon the part of the pilgrim. And yet both the reluctance of the monkand the desire of the pilgrim respect the intention of the other.The pilgrims want the monk to place his hands upon theirhead, or they will place his hands upon their head if they can do so,or they will place his hands on the head of someone they want tobe blessed. Their desire just to touch his hand reminds me so muchof the story in the Gospel of the woman who touched the hem ofthe garment of Jesus.Pilgrims who manage to elicit from the monk a small prayerobtain his blessing; even the merest words “God bless you” are suf-
64 DECEMBERficient. If they can obtain an object of the monk, especially an objectassociated with his prayer life, such as a prayer book or hishand-cross, or if they can kiss his hand-cross, they feel especiallyblessed. If they have an icon, a holy picture that they can touch tohim, then touch to themselves, they obtain a blessing.Pilgrims like to take the cross in the monk’s hand and put itover their head; they like to touch their forehead to his hand-cross,or hold onto it for a time. They ask if they can have custody of itfor an afternoon, or an evening, or overnight. They like to take ithome for a while because someone at home is sick, and the personwants the blessing of the monk. If they buy a hand-cross themselvesand ask the monk to hold it and then give it back to them,that can be a source of blessing.If they can induce the monk to take a walk with them, no matterwhat the topic of their conversation, whether they like themonk or not, they are joyful to receive it as a blessing. If they canpersuade the monk to eat a morsel of food they have brought, theyfeel they have been blessed. If they can obtain from him a glass oftea or a bit of food, they feel especially blessed. If they give themonk some food and he returns it to them, blessed, they feel theythemselves have been blessed.They like to get the monk’s signature. They ask him to writehis name in their Bible or their prayer book, or in a textbook. If hewrites his name on a study sheet they are using to prepare for anexam, they feel they have a special blessing for taking that exam.To take a picture of a monk or, better yet, to have their own picturetaken standing next to the monk is a blessing. Getting thepromise of the monk’s future prayers is regarded as a special kindof blessing.If, when the monk happens to be out of the monastery, visitingthe Patriarch in Cairo, visiting a church, giving a mission or givingtalks, they can persuade him to come to their house and have dinner,they are blessed. Better yet, having a dinner that lasts so latethat they can persuade the monk to stay in their house overnight, isthe greatest blessing that anyone could hope for. The house isblessed, the family is blessed, everything they own is blessed; eventheir future is blessed.Of course, one can view all this as primitive and superstitious,or one can see it as a desire for God welling up from the deepestpart of the human soul. Where do we best intuit the presence of
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Copyright © 2002 by Mark Gruber, O
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JOURNEY BACK TO EDENMy Life and Tim
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In gratitude to Abuna Elia,the sain
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CONTENTSPreface ...................
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PREFACEWhile in Egypt, I did not in
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PREFACExiElia, to whom this journal
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ABOUT THE COPTS AND THEIR DESERT MO
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2 INTRODUCTIONI will be traveling i
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4 INTRODUCTIONmy novitiate and had
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6 SEPTEMBERlarge high-rises. Appare
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8 SEPTEMBERprior to their trip so t
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10 SEPTEMBERyour hands—as much or
Page 27 and 28: 12 SEPTEMBERA Beggar among BeggarsT
Page 29 and 30: 14 SEPTEMBERlabored without rest or
Page 31 and 32: FATHER JOHN WATSONHis Holiness Pope
Page 33 and 34: 18 SEPTEMBERHe drew a cross on top
Page 35 and 36: 20 SEPTEMBERBlessed Lord,You brough
Page 37 and 38: 22 SEPTEMBERtude, and silence, appr
Page 39 and 40: OCTOBERA TIME OF NEW BEGINNINGSThe
Page 41 and 42: 26 OCTOBERcontradictions they fear
Page 43 and 44: 28 OCTOBERdramatic effect of my hea
Page 45 and 46: 30 OCTOBERWill my heart remain here
Page 47 and 48: NOVEMBERA TIME TO VISIT ABRAHAMGues
Page 49 and 50: 34 NOVEMBERThe guest master, it tur
Page 51 and 52: Abuna Elia
Page 53 and 54: 38 NOVEMBERBut in their case, he as
Page 55 and 56: 40 NOVEMBERafter the death of Sarah
Page 57 and 58: 42 NOVEMBERto take his son. All the
Page 59 and 60: 44 NOVEMBERhe sojourned in Egypt in
Page 61 and 62: 46 NOVEMBERthe monastic ideal to a
Page 63 and 64: 48 NOVEMBERArabic LessonsNOVEMBER 2
Page 65 and 66: 50 NOVEMBEROf course, it is not tru
Page 67 and 68: 52 NOVEMBERthe Ark of Noah looked l
Page 69 and 70: 54 NOVEMBERits life-giving water fr
Page 71 and 72: 56 NOVEMBERCross more brightly: fal
Page 73 and 74: DECEMBERA TIME OF SIGNS: CAELUM ET
Page 75 and 76: 60 DECEMBERfirst sold ourselves to
Page 77: 62 DECEMBERis by fasting, most of a
Page 81 and 82: 66 DECEMBERThe great apparitions of
Page 83 and 84: 68 DECEMBERKing of the Jews, by the
Page 85 and 86: 70 DECEMBEREveryone seeks the assis
Page 87 and 88: 72 DECEMBERDECEMBER 15, MONDAYAlmos
Page 89 and 90: 74 DECEMBERfor her. She is delighte
Page 91 and 92: 76 DECEMBERtween Alexandria and Cai
Page 93 and 94: 78 DECEMBERboth are real in the bod
Page 95 and 96: 80 DECEMBERof faith which preserves
Page 97 and 98: 82 DECEMBERI feel particularly sorr
Page 99 and 100: 84 DECEMBERThe children—six, seve
Page 101 and 102: JANUARYA TIME OF CELEBRATIONJANUARY
Page 103 and 104: 88 JANUARYEveryone, it seems, is mi
Page 105 and 106: 90 JANUARYA Holiday VisitOn the eve
Page 107 and 108: 92 JANUARYAlmost the whole orientat
Page 109 and 110: 94 JANUARYI blessed water in their
Page 111 and 112: 96 JANUARYI find myself in the unus
Page 113 and 114: 98 JANUARYferent path, and every da
Page 115 and 116: 100 JANUARYyour ageless love are cr
Page 117 and 118: 102 JANUARYless because they’re a
Page 119 and 120: FATHER JOHN WATSONA Coptic Orthodox
Page 121 and 122: 106 JANUARYheard a voice—perhaps
Page 123 and 124: 108 JANUARYI reflected afterwards a
Page 125 and 126: 110 JANUARYsolitude and in terms of
Page 127 and 128: 112 FEBRUARYjust visiting the deser
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114 FEBRUARYJust then some of the p
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116 FEBRUARYThe children of the Pha
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118 FEBRUARYAbuna Elia said that th
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120 FEBRUARYGod. For all Christians
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122 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 18, WEDNESDAYD
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124 FEBRUARYsources. I had some of
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126 FEBRUARYshall be a sign and a w
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128 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 28, SATURDAYTh
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130 MARCHmerich, the German mystic
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132 MARCHThe wildflower meadows her
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134 MARCHbishop who resides near he
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136 MARCHOf Building Bonds and Brea
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138 MARCHSprings in the DesertMARCH
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140 MARCHwomen in the West experien
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142 MARCHlunch somewhere, or they h
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144 MARCHbe willing to move from my
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146 MARCHA Fly on the WallMARCH 31,
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APRILA TIME OF CONSECRATIONOf Sands
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Grass mats cover the floor of a mon
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152 APRILmony. Even recently, some
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154 APRILwho are distributed everyw
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156 APRILIn the papal compound I me
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158 APRILin their own home parish.
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160 APRILAfter greeting me he told
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162 APRILI keep reminding myself th
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164 APRILA Rare Spring HolidayAPRIL
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166 APRILthat the very same innocen
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MAYA TIME TO PRESS ONWARDOases and
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170 MAYthe commotion associated wit
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172 MAYeven saw monks trying to get
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174 MAYNevertheless, I ask you to a
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176 MAYof grace that people can enf
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178 MAYI’m staying at the house o
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180 JUNEThe Cave of a SaintJUNE 5,
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182 JUNEThe abbot of the monastery
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The gate of St. Anthony Monastery.
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186 JUNEno place to lay his head”
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188 JUNE“Fountains and Springs, B
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190 JUNEmonks here, I decided to dr
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192 JUNEof his family—and broke e
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JULYA TIME FOR FAREWELLSThe Crucibl
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196 JULYare known in Egypt, and the
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198 JULYthat, the heat is now reall
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200 JULYbering the slap I received
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202 JULYyou for our founder who cam
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204 JULYJULY 23, THURSDAYI returned
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206 JULYprize that Eve forfeited wh
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AFTERWORDFifteen years have passed
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