Journey Back to Eden.pdf - St Mark Coptic Orthodox Church Chicago

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A TIME FOR FAREWELLS 203and gave me to drink. It was cool, clear, sweet water, not like thewater of the monastery which was saline and stagnant, pumped outof the desert floor. Apparently, the founder of the monastery, athousand years before, had constructed a system of fine grooves inthe mountain. Once or twice during the year when it rained, everydrop of water that fell on the hills would collect in a cistern in thedepths of the mountain, and would be stored there.So then I realized that the abbot had sent me to this cave, not sothat I would die, but so that I would live. He had provided for methe best water there was to drink for hundreds of miles around. I alsorealized that the temperature in the cave was 50 degrees cooler thanthe air outside—a refreshing 80 degrees. It was even cooler yet as Iclimbed down deeper into the mountain. Before long, the old monkreturned alone to the monastery and left me in the cave to recoveralone.So I lived about three days in the cave of the founder in prayerand thanksgiving until the dangerous heat wave passed. Then Iwalked down the mountain, back to the monastery. Tarek, Ihab,and Nasser had somehow survived the heat wave, and were relievedto see me well. We left St. Samuel Monastery in peace.Life Spans and Pilgrimages, Communal and PersonalJULY 19, SUNDAYThe last several days have been spent in a blur of touring abandonedmonasteries in the desert of Egypt, all the way to Aswan, soI have written a variety of archaeological notes on the subject. Itmoves me to see fallen monasteries, broken ruins. Every monasterymust surely have a certain sense of divine impulse, a sense that Godhimself has established it. There must be in its origins a sense ofdestiny, a sense that God himself has desired it. Yet of all themonasteries I have seen on the continent of Europe or in theUnited States, where the population of Christians is large, therehave been far more ruins of monasteries than inhabited buildings.The failures of monasteries seem to outnumber the successes. Itstrikes me that even with all the bravado, all the confidence, all theassurance of the Divine Presence and visitation, human projects areoften fraught with failure. We cannot guarantee the Providence ofGod merely by our assertions of zeal.
204 JULYJULY 23, THURSDAYI returned to Cairo directly by train. I’m preparing to makeone last visit to St. Bishoi Monastery before I return to the States.I’m fairly exhausted. I think that I have somehow paced myselfphysically for this year, and now that my sojourn is drawing to aclose, my reserves are running low. Or is it that I am merely in thepsychological dynamic of anticipating a return to the States?Farewell to IsaacJULY 25, SATURDAYI met with Abuna Elia again today. How sweet our opportunitiesto discuss the Scriptures! He was crying because he hadmissed our meetings these past few months. I reminded him thathe has all these brothers in the monastery with whom he can discussScripture. But, with great kindness and sincerity, he seemedto tell me that with no one else can he discuss the Scriptures as hecan with me. Perhaps owing to the peculiarities of the way I wastrained, or perhaps owing to the background I have in my ownpersonal reading in Patristics, or to my family’s religious background,he finds in me a sympathetic reception to his ideas andgood rejoinders for his words. We really did have fruitful dialoguesabout the Scriptures.He told me that I am leaving Egypt just as Isaac was given tomake his departure from Abraham after they had climbed theMount of Moriah together. Abraham was summoned to sacrificeIsaac and that, in itself, was an unimaginable horror to him. Butalso impossible for him to endure was the idea that, afterward,there would be no more Isaac. He grieved that the one for whomhe had lived and prayed for all those decades, he would lose afterthe sacrifice on the Mount of Moriah.So I was leaving, Abuna Elia said, but in God’s good Providence,I would make him fruitful as Isaac made Abraham fruitful.Abuna Elia imagines that because he has discussed the Scriptureswith me at length, for weeks and even months, I now containwithin myself something of the core of his spirituality and the kernelof his religious life. He believes that I will make it all come tolife by my own mission and ministry in the world. “You will makeme fruitful,” he said two or three times, “just as Isaac made Abra-
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Copyright © 2002 by Mark Gruber, O
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JOURNEY BACK TO EDENMy Life and Tim
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In gratitude to Abuna Elia,the sain
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CONTENTSPreface ...................
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PREFACEWhile in Egypt, I did not in
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PREFACExiElia, to whom this journal
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ABOUT THE COPTS AND THEIR DESERT MO
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2 INTRODUCTIONI will be traveling i
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4 INTRODUCTIONmy novitiate and had
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6 SEPTEMBERlarge high-rises. Appare
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8 SEPTEMBERprior to their trip so t
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10 SEPTEMBERyour hands—as much or
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12 SEPTEMBERA Beggar among BeggarsT
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14 SEPTEMBERlabored without rest or
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FATHER JOHN WATSONHis Holiness Pope
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18 SEPTEMBERHe drew a cross on top
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20 SEPTEMBERBlessed Lord,You brough
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22 SEPTEMBERtude, and silence, appr
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OCTOBERA TIME OF NEW BEGINNINGSThe
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26 OCTOBERcontradictions they fear
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28 OCTOBERdramatic effect of my hea
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30 OCTOBERWill my heart remain here
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NOVEMBERA TIME TO VISIT ABRAHAMGues
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34 NOVEMBERThe guest master, it tur
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Abuna Elia
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38 NOVEMBERBut in their case, he as
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40 NOVEMBERafter the death of Sarah
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42 NOVEMBERto take his son. All the
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44 NOVEMBERhe sojourned in Egypt in
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46 NOVEMBERthe monastic ideal to a
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48 NOVEMBERArabic LessonsNOVEMBER 2
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50 NOVEMBEROf course, it is not tru
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52 NOVEMBERthe Ark of Noah looked l
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54 NOVEMBERits life-giving water fr
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56 NOVEMBERCross more brightly: fal
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DECEMBERA TIME OF SIGNS: CAELUM ET
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60 DECEMBERfirst sold ourselves to
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62 DECEMBERis by fasting, most of a
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64 DECEMBERficient. If they can obt
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66 DECEMBERThe great apparitions of
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68 DECEMBERKing of the Jews, by the
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70 DECEMBEREveryone seeks the assis
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72 DECEMBERDECEMBER 15, MONDAYAlmos
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74 DECEMBERfor her. She is delighte
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76 DECEMBERtween Alexandria and Cai
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78 DECEMBERboth are real in the bod
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80 DECEMBERof faith which preserves
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82 DECEMBERI feel particularly sorr
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84 DECEMBERThe children—six, seve
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JANUARYA TIME OF CELEBRATIONJANUARY
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88 JANUARYEveryone, it seems, is mi
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90 JANUARYA Holiday VisitOn the eve
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92 JANUARYAlmost the whole orientat
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94 JANUARYI blessed water in their
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96 JANUARYI find myself in the unus
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98 JANUARYferent path, and every da
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100 JANUARYyour ageless love are cr
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102 JANUARYless because they’re a
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FATHER JOHN WATSONA Coptic Orthodox
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106 JANUARYheard a voice—perhaps
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108 JANUARYI reflected afterwards a
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110 JANUARYsolitude and in terms of
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112 FEBRUARYjust visiting the deser
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114 FEBRUARYJust then some of the p
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116 FEBRUARYThe children of the Pha
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118 FEBRUARYAbuna Elia said that th
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120 FEBRUARYGod. For all Christians
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122 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 18, WEDNESDAYD
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124 FEBRUARYsources. I had some of
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126 FEBRUARYshall be a sign and a w
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128 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 28, SATURDAYTh
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130 MARCHmerich, the German mystic
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132 MARCHThe wildflower meadows her
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134 MARCHbishop who resides near he
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136 MARCHOf Building Bonds and Brea
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138 MARCHSprings in the DesertMARCH
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140 MARCHwomen in the West experien
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142 MARCHlunch somewhere, or they h
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144 MARCHbe willing to move from my
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146 MARCHA Fly on the WallMARCH 31,
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APRILA TIME OF CONSECRATIONOf Sands
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Grass mats cover the floor of a mon
Page 167 and 168: 152 APRILmony. Even recently, some
Page 169 and 170: 154 APRILwho are distributed everyw
Page 171 and 172: 156 APRILIn the papal compound I me
Page 173 and 174: 158 APRILin their own home parish.
Page 175 and 176: 160 APRILAfter greeting me he told
Page 177 and 178: 162 APRILI keep reminding myself th
Page 179 and 180: 164 APRILA Rare Spring HolidayAPRIL
Page 181 and 182: 166 APRILthat the very same innocen
Page 183 and 184: MAYA TIME TO PRESS ONWARDOases and
Page 185 and 186: 170 MAYthe commotion associated wit
Page 187 and 188: 172 MAYeven saw monks trying to get
Page 189 and 190: 174 MAYNevertheless, I ask you to a
Page 191 and 192: 176 MAYof grace that people can enf
Page 193 and 194: 178 MAYI’m staying at the house o
Page 195 and 196: 180 JUNEThe Cave of a SaintJUNE 5,
Page 197 and 198: 182 JUNEThe abbot of the monastery
Page 199 and 200: The gate of St. Anthony Monastery.
Page 201 and 202: 186 JUNEno place to lay his head”
Page 203 and 204: 188 JUNE“Fountains and Springs, B
Page 205 and 206: 190 JUNEmonks here, I decided to dr
Page 207 and 208: 192 JUNEof his family—and broke e
Page 209 and 210: JULYA TIME FOR FAREWELLSThe Crucibl
Page 211 and 212: 196 JULYare known in Egypt, and the
Page 213 and 214: 198 JULYthat, the heat is now reall
Page 215 and 216: 200 JULYbering the slap I received
Page 217: 202 JULYyou for our founder who cam
Page 221 and 222: 206 JULYprize that Eve forfeited wh
Page 223: AFTERWORDFifteen years have passed
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