Journey Back to Eden.pdf - St Mark Coptic Orthodox Church Chicago

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A TIME FOR FAREWELLS 201move the body of a foreigner. He didn’t want to be responsible formy death, so he suggested that I make a journey outside the wallsof the monastery up to the mountain where the founder had livedin a cave nine hundred years ago. This is the cave in which St.Samuel prayed, and God blessed his holiness with the foundationof a monastery under his tutelage. The mountain was several milesdistant from the monastery. The abbot arranged for an elderlymonk—really, quite old and gaunt, more gristle and bone thanmuscle and flesh—to lead me to the cave of the founder.We left the monastery in late afternoon when the sun was settingbehind the crest of a large dune, creating a little ribbon ofshade across the desert floor on which we could walk. The temperatureof the sand was immeasurably hot. We had to walk barefootto the cave because we were walking on holy ground. I was disturbedto discover that my footprints were red with the blood ofmy feet as we walked! The old monk was walking relatively fast,sometimes beside me, sometimes in front of me, often behind me.Under my breath I was muttering and murmuring, grumbling andcomplaining “against God and against Moses” that I had been ledout to suffer in this terrible place.I could hear the elderly monk murmuring too. At first I paidno attention because I grimly believed that I was simply being ledout into the desert to die outside the monastery. At one point themonk even threw a rock at me—at least, it seemed he was throwingit at me, although it went over my head. When I asked the monkwhy he had done this, he walked ahead and picked up the rock.Under it there was a crushed scorpion which, it occurred to me,had been poised to sting.The monk was well aware of me, and I became progressivelymore and more aware of him. As I began to listen to what he wasmurmuring, I discovered that it was melodic. He was actuallysinging! He was singing a spontaneous quarter-tone song in Arabic,as a child sings, right off the top of his head! He was offering toGod a song of praise! In his prayer, he was singing something likethis:“O God, I thank you and I praise you for this beautiful dayin which you smile upon us with the strength of the sunand the warmth of your heart, a furnace of love. I thank
202 JULYyou for our founder who came to this barren wasteland tocultivate a garden of gratitude and praise in this house ofprayer, this holy place of refreshment in the wilderness.”In this deadly 130-degree heat wave, the old monk was actuallysinging! He was singing a song filled with praise and thanksgivingfor the wonder and the beauty of the day I was accursing! He wasable to see an Eden in the midst of this wretched desert!When we came to the base of the mountain, he ascended it effortlessly,almost as if he floated up step by step. However, withevery step I took, my feet sank. For every three steps I took, I felltwo steps back.The monk reached the top of the mountain. He was an elderlyman, over eighty, I would guess. And I, in my relative youth, hadgotten nowhere. Finally—and then only for reasons of pride—did Iscale the hill, not willing to endure the idea that this old monk wasable to climb a mountain that I could not.When I got to the top, he led me to the mouth of the cave ofthe founder. I didn’t see it at first, as the opening was just a littlecrevice that we couldn’t walk through. We had to slide into thecave on our knees and our bellies, some twenty, thirty, or forty feetinto the earth. All along the passage I could hear the monk singingahead of me. When we reached the interior, the crawl spaceopened up into a chamber. The old monk lit a small candle andthen began to sing his Church’s songs of thanksgiving and gratitudethat we had reached the holy place, the cave of the founder.After he had sung for what seemed like an hour or so, he askedme to sing. I was hoarse; I was dry. Our water had long ago run outas I had drunk it all in the first half hour of our walk! We were nowmiles away from the monastery and, so far as I knew, withoutwater, bound to become dehydrated in a cave in the middle of theearth. The old monk said, “Won’t you sing me a song of praise andthanksgiving to God? Won’t you sing a hymn to the Virgin Maryfrom your Church so that we can offer up our praise and gratitudetogether?” I thought to myself, “It is better not to commit murderin this cave before my own death here.” So I sang the Salve Reginaand several other Marian hymns in which he really delighted. Heasked me to sing them over and over again.After a while he disappeared farther into the cave, and thenemerged with a great pitcher of water which he poured all over me
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Copyright © 2002 by Mark Gruber, O
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JOURNEY BACK TO EDENMy Life and Tim
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In gratitude to Abuna Elia,the sain
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CONTENTSPreface ...................
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PREFACEWhile in Egypt, I did not in
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PREFACExiElia, to whom this journal
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ABOUT THE COPTS AND THEIR DESERT MO
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2 INTRODUCTIONI will be traveling i
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4 INTRODUCTIONmy novitiate and had
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6 SEPTEMBERlarge high-rises. Appare
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8 SEPTEMBERprior to their trip so t
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10 SEPTEMBERyour hands—as much or
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12 SEPTEMBERA Beggar among BeggarsT
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14 SEPTEMBERlabored without rest or
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FATHER JOHN WATSONHis Holiness Pope
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18 SEPTEMBERHe drew a cross on top
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20 SEPTEMBERBlessed Lord,You brough
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22 SEPTEMBERtude, and silence, appr
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OCTOBERA TIME OF NEW BEGINNINGSThe
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26 OCTOBERcontradictions they fear
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28 OCTOBERdramatic effect of my hea
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30 OCTOBERWill my heart remain here
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NOVEMBERA TIME TO VISIT ABRAHAMGues
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34 NOVEMBERThe guest master, it tur
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Abuna Elia
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38 NOVEMBERBut in their case, he as
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40 NOVEMBERafter the death of Sarah
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42 NOVEMBERto take his son. All the
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44 NOVEMBERhe sojourned in Egypt in
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46 NOVEMBERthe monastic ideal to a
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48 NOVEMBERArabic LessonsNOVEMBER 2
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50 NOVEMBEROf course, it is not tru
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52 NOVEMBERthe Ark of Noah looked l
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54 NOVEMBERits life-giving water fr
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56 NOVEMBERCross more brightly: fal
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DECEMBERA TIME OF SIGNS: CAELUM ET
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60 DECEMBERfirst sold ourselves to
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62 DECEMBERis by fasting, most of a
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64 DECEMBERficient. If they can obt
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66 DECEMBERThe great apparitions of
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68 DECEMBERKing of the Jews, by the
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70 DECEMBEREveryone seeks the assis
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72 DECEMBERDECEMBER 15, MONDAYAlmos
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74 DECEMBERfor her. She is delighte
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76 DECEMBERtween Alexandria and Cai
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78 DECEMBERboth are real in the bod
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80 DECEMBERof faith which preserves
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82 DECEMBERI feel particularly sorr
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84 DECEMBERThe children—six, seve
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JANUARYA TIME OF CELEBRATIONJANUARY
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88 JANUARYEveryone, it seems, is mi
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90 JANUARYA Holiday VisitOn the eve
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92 JANUARYAlmost the whole orientat
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94 JANUARYI blessed water in their
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96 JANUARYI find myself in the unus
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98 JANUARYferent path, and every da
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100 JANUARYyour ageless love are cr
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102 JANUARYless because they’re a
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FATHER JOHN WATSONA Coptic Orthodox
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106 JANUARYheard a voice—perhaps
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108 JANUARYI reflected afterwards a
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110 JANUARYsolitude and in terms of
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112 FEBRUARYjust visiting the deser
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114 FEBRUARYJust then some of the p
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116 FEBRUARYThe children of the Pha
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118 FEBRUARYAbuna Elia said that th
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120 FEBRUARYGod. For all Christians
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122 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 18, WEDNESDAYD
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124 FEBRUARYsources. I had some of
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126 FEBRUARYshall be a sign and a w
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128 FEBRUARYFEBRUARY 28, SATURDAYTh
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130 MARCHmerich, the German mystic
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132 MARCHThe wildflower meadows her
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134 MARCHbishop who resides near he
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136 MARCHOf Building Bonds and Brea
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138 MARCHSprings in the DesertMARCH
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140 MARCHwomen in the West experien
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142 MARCHlunch somewhere, or they h
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144 MARCHbe willing to move from my
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146 MARCHA Fly on the WallMARCH 31,
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APRILA TIME OF CONSECRATIONOf Sands
Page 165 and 166: Grass mats cover the floor of a mon
Page 167 and 168: 152 APRILmony. Even recently, some
Page 169 and 170: 154 APRILwho are distributed everyw
Page 171 and 172: 156 APRILIn the papal compound I me
Page 173 and 174: 158 APRILin their own home parish.
Page 175 and 176: 160 APRILAfter greeting me he told
Page 177 and 178: 162 APRILI keep reminding myself th
Page 179 and 180: 164 APRILA Rare Spring HolidayAPRIL
Page 181 and 182: 166 APRILthat the very same innocen
Page 183 and 184: MAYA TIME TO PRESS ONWARDOases and
Page 185 and 186: 170 MAYthe commotion associated wit
Page 187 and 188: 172 MAYeven saw monks trying to get
Page 189 and 190: 174 MAYNevertheless, I ask you to a
Page 191 and 192: 176 MAYof grace that people can enf
Page 193 and 194: 178 MAYI’m staying at the house o
Page 195 and 196: 180 JUNEThe Cave of a SaintJUNE 5,
Page 197 and 198: 182 JUNEThe abbot of the monastery
Page 199 and 200: The gate of St. Anthony Monastery.
Page 201 and 202: 186 JUNEno place to lay his head”
Page 203 and 204: 188 JUNE“Fountains and Springs, B
Page 205 and 206: 190 JUNEmonks here, I decided to dr
Page 207 and 208: 192 JUNEof his family—and broke e
Page 209 and 210: JULYA TIME FOR FAREWELLSThe Crucibl
Page 211 and 212: 196 JULYare known in Egypt, and the
Page 213 and 214: 198 JULYthat, the heat is now reall
Page 215: 200 JULYbering the slap I received
Page 219 and 220: 204 JULYJULY 23, THURSDAYI returned
Page 221 and 222: 206 JULYprize that Eve forfeited wh
Page 223: AFTERWORDFifteen years have passed
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