Halfway to forever by Karen Kingsbury

Tanner knew were just beneath the surface. When she looked up,
she bit her lip and smiled through her tears. "But sometimes,
honey, God's plans are not our own. Even if that means I don't
make it through this, I want you to know how great God has been
to our family. Your dad will tell you the stories, but...but I wanted
you to hear it from me. If I'm not there beside you, Maddie, I'm
in heaven with Jesus."
Tanner's tears were coming in streams, and it took everything
in him to keep the camera in place. Jade shook her head. "Don't
ever blame Jesus for the things that don't go as we plan, sweetheart.
He's the only One who always knows what's best. Even if it
isn't what we want."
Jade paused, drawing in a deep breath. "Whew" She stuck out
her lower lip and blew her bangs off her forehead. "This is harder
than I thought." She smiled and ran her fingers beneath her eyes
again. "There are a few things I don't ever want you to forget." She
tightened her grip on the journal. "They're in here, written in the
front of the book, but I wanted you to hear them from me. Just in
case I don't get another chance to tell you."
Tanner held his breath, his heart breaking.
"I want you to know I love you more than you could ever
imagine. I dreamed about you for two years before you were born,
274
and now I feel like God's granted me the sweetest miracle by givin g you to me and your dad and Ty."
Her smile faded. "I also want you to know how much I love your father. He is the greatest man I've ever
known, and no matter what happens, I pray you and Ty will follow his example as long as you live. He is
my strength, my song, my protector. Ever since I've known him, he's led me to Christ again and again. And
Christ is the only One who could give me the peace that's in my heart right now. Your father will lead you
there, too, if you let him." Jade's voice broke again. "So let him, baby Please let him lead you to Jesus."
Jade kept her gaze straight at the camera lens. "Finally, I want you to love your brother. He's older than
you, yes, but he loves you so much. And he's very, very special to me. A time may come when he wonders
about life and God and why I had to get sick. If that happens, be there for him, Maddie. Be his friend. Be
the one he talks to... especially if I can't be there."
Tears streamed down jade's cheeks again and she shrugged. A smile filled her face and a sound, more
laugh than sob, came from her throat. "I guess that's all. I hope you like the book, honey I'll love you
forever and no matter what happens, I'll see you at home."
Jade lifted her eyes to Tanner's and he turned the camera off. Moving like a man who had aged twenty
years in fifteen minutes, Tanner set the camera on the floor, stood, and embraced jade across the bars of
the hospital bed.
They stayed that way a long time, weeping without a sound as they lay on each other's shoulders. No
words were needed. Regardless of what jade had said about the video, its message had only one purpose.
When she could speak, jade whispered against his face. "The hardest thing... is to think of leaving her...
the way my mother left me."
278 i
K I N G S B U R Y
Tanner's eyes were swollen, his nose completely stuffed from crying. Still he found his voice and spoke it
into her hair, the hair that would be gone in a matter of weeks. "It would never be like that, jade. Your