Halfway to forever by Karen Kingsbury

gait.
Then there was her lack of balance. The medication-or the
tumor itself-was affecting her equilibrium. There were times,
even when she otherwise felt good, when the room seemed to
slant so drastically she would fall to her knees if not for the help
of someone at her side-usually Helen or Ty, since Tanner never
seemed to be home until after she was in bed.
At first it was easy to pass the symptoms off as coincidence,
signs that she needed more rest. But after two days of sleeping
practically around the clock, jade could no longer lie to herself.
These thoughts simmered in jade's mind while she lay stretched out on the sofa in their den. The den was
just off the kitchen and for the past two weeks, since Helen had come to live with them, it was the place
where jade spent most of her time.
She reached for the water bottle on the end table and took a long, slow sip. Her Bible was on the floor
beside her, but jade couldn't remember why Had she read it? Was she intending to read it? The water slid
down her throat, soothing the parched feeling that was almost constant these days.
The sun was making its way toward the western ridge of
mountains behind their house, so it had to be afternoon. But was
it Tuesday? Wednesday? And where was Ty? She lifted her wrist,
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struggling to steady her hand in front of her. The numbers on her watch came into focus. Three-thirty Ty
would be home in ten minutes unless he had practice or a game. Jade had no idea what his schedule was.
For that matter she had no idea about Tanner's schedule, either.
Helen took care of everything now. The woman was kind and orderly, a believer in her late fifties with no
family She was conscientious about her work and took little time for small talk.
Jade wondered how the woman was with Ty. When she took him to his baseball games, did she cheer for
him? Ask him how he made a tough catch?
Tears poked pins at jade's eyes. Before getting sick, she had never missed her son's games. Help him
understand, God.. . help me get better so I can be therefor him.
The baby shifted position, and jade's eyes fell to her swollen abdomen. Hold on, baby girl. You can make
it. Just a few more weeks. The number became a giant in her mind, stomping out every
other thought she'd been thinking. Three weeks? She had to exist this way, like a rotting vegetable, for
three more weeks? The idea seemed as impossible as scaling Mount Everest.
Jade's eyelids grew heavier. If there was a silver lining in the fog of medication within which she existed,
it was this: She had no trouble sleeping. When she couldn't remember what day it was or where Ty was
supposed to be or whether he had a game or what time Tanner was supposed to be home, she could close
her eyes and let all of life slip away.
She drew a slow, steady breath and smoothed her hand over her abdomen. The road ahead was long and
dark, wrought with terrible possibilities. What if the tumor grew again before the baby was born? What if
it killed her? Would the doctors find a way to save their tiny daughter or would she die, too? And what if
they both survived until October 7, the date doctors had set for her C-section?
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Instead of relishing the birth of her daughter, she would be faced with two weeks of intense chemotherapy
and radiation. And after that there would be surgery-an operation that carried with it dire risks in the best
of circumstances.
A sad, shaky sigh leaked from Jade's throat and two tears
trickled down her cheeks. How will I survive, God? I need Tanner...