Halfway to forever by Karen Kingsbury

was that child now, clinging to jade with all that remained of his
hope and courage and belief in forever.
Because to let go, to lose her now, would certainly kill him.
Even if it took a lifetime for his heart to stop beating.
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Dr. Layton would never suggest terminating a pregnancy for anything but the most serious causes. Jade could remember the man arguing with
other doctors about taking extreme measures to save not only pregnant patients, but their unborn children as well. He was not a man of faith,
but he was one of the kindest doctors jade had ever worked with.
The fact that he disagreed with jade and Tanner's resolve to keep the baby could only mean one thing: He feared for jade's life. That
afternoon, she and Tanner huddled against each other in
the hospital room as Dr. Layton detailed his alternate treatment plan, one that would hopefully take jade and the baby safely through the next
several months.
"We'll deliver the baby at thirty-two weeks. Not a minute later." Dr. Layton's sigh rattled jade's nerves. Thirty-two weeks? That's too early,
God... the baby won't be able to breathe on his own...
The doctor continued. "In the meantime we'll watch the tumor."
Tanner gripped her hand, his face pale. "What ...what should we look for?"
"Seizures are the biggest concern." The doctor frowned. "Jade's tumor is in the frontal lobe of her brain. That means even the smallest growth
could trigger more seizures like the one she had yesterday" He looked from jade to Tanner. "The solution is an anti-seizure drug. It would be
the least likely to have an ill effect on the baby"
79 Jade nodded. She was familiar with the medication, and terrified at the same time. She had been so busy worrying about Tanner and his
reaction to the news, so concerned with having a good attitude toward her ability to fight the tumor and God's ability to heal her, that she'd
taken almost no time to consider the road ahead.
Especially if it included five months of anti-seizure medication.
She glanced at Tanner. Please, God... give him strength.
The doctor drew up a chair and sat down across from Tanner. "Seizures could be nothing more than a painful inconvenience... or they could
kill Jade and the baby. We have to prevent them. Let's talk about the anti-seizure medication." He leveled his gaze at Tanner, and Jade held her
breath. She knew what was coming. "The drug has side effects. Personality changes, excessive grogginess, slow speech, slow motor skills.
Depending on the dosage, it could temporarily appear that Jade has brain damage."
The remaining color drained from Tanner's face. Jade wanted to rip out the IV line, grab Tanner's hand, and run for her life. She'd seen
patients on anti-seizure medication, kids with inoperable brain tumors who sometimes didn't recognize their parents after three weeks on the
drugs. This was why brain cancer was the most dreaded of all childhood types-the medication and the fact that the prognosis was usually so
poor. Jade thought of Brandy Almond... How was the girl doing? Maybe her cancer was in remission by now.
The doctor was telling them that the side effects were often
reversible once the tumor was removed. "I'll start you on a low
dose, but as the tumor grows, we'll almost certainly have to
increase the medication. We'll have to monitor it."
It was almost four o'clock when the doctor left them alone.
Tanner crossed the room and anchored himself at the win78
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dow, his back to her. "Did you hear that?" He looked over his shoulder at her. "The drug could change your personality"
Jade ached to climb out of bed and hug him, to promise him that no matter what medication found its way into her veins she would never see
him differently, treat him differently. But she wouldn't lie to him. She'd seen the effects of the drug too often.
"Okay." She summoned every bit of faith within her and spoke in a voice that barely carried across the room. "We'll have to pray it doesn't."
Tanner shrugged and came to her side once more. "I guess." There was something numb in Tanner's tone, and it frightened her. Was Tanner
doubting the power of prayer? Was he questioning whether God could help them? The possibility scared Jade more than any cancer ever
could. God, give him faith... help him.
In response a Scripture came to mind. It was their verse. Their life verse: "For I know the plans I have for you... plans to give you a hope and
a f uture and not to harm you... "
She folded her arms against her chest and tried to believe it was still true. "You guess? Is that all, Tanner? After all God's brought us through?"
He gripped the side rails of her hospital bed and locked his elbows. "God allowed a brain tumor to grow in your head, okay? I'm still trying to
deal with that. You and I-" his jaw tensed-"we love the Lord with all our hearts but because of my mother's wretched lies we lose a decade
together. Ten years, Jade." His knuckles turned white as he tightened his grip on the bed rails. "Now this?" He groaned. "I'll pray. Of course,
I'll pray. But right now I don't know if it'll make a difference."
Tears filled her eyes again. She hadn't cried this much since she walked out of Tanner's mother's house thirteen years ago
believing he didn't love her. "Tanner... please."
He was rigid, tense with anger and fear and confusion. But at
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the sound of his name on her lips, his hands and arms relaxed, and he closed his eyes. When he opened them, jade saw something that gave
her hope again.
Resolve. She exhaled in relief. This was the Tanner she knew and loved, the one who would fight to the death for what he believed. And
certainly now, in the darkest moment of their lives, he would trust God to lead them through. What choice did they have?
"I'm sorry, Jade. Forgive me, okay?"
She nodded and reached toward him, slipping her hand in his.