Halfway to forever by Karen Kingsbury

She raised one shoulder, and her eyes struggled to stay open.
"Okay The same."
They looked at each other for a moment, and Tanner searched
for the words that might help. There was only one thing that really
mattered-whether jade was feeling worse, experiencing new
symptoms. But clearly she didn't want to discuss herself.
He spread his palm out on the bedspread and leaned back.
"I'm using the separation of church and state ruling in the case
against Benson."
For a moment, Jade's eyes were blank. Then gradually they
narrowed as though she were concentrating on something
intensely serious. "Sepa...sepra...seprish..." She clenched her
fists and uttered a frustrated groan. "Help me say it, Tanner!"
"Hey-" he sat straight up, his stomach churning-"Take it
easy. You're tired, that's all." What was wrong with her? Was the
medication taking her ability to talk, or was the tumor growing
into the part of her brain that controlled speech? Her words were
not only slow they were slurred, so either option was equally possible.
And equally terrifying.
He swallowed. "I said I'm using the separation of church and
state ruling in the case against Benson."
Jade bit her lip and tried again. "Separsh...sepa..."
That was all. She hung her head, and tears fell on the bed186
T O F 0 R E V E R
l read. "I can't... say it. The letters get all mixed up."
There was nothing he could do, nothing at all. So he turned
off the light, stroked her forehead, and waited until she fell asleep before joining Ty and Helen
downstairs.
The memory cleared and he looked once more at the plaque
on his desk.
Be still, and know that I am God.
He had no doubt about the last part. God existed as surely as
the sun and moon. Tanner might not understand what God was doing in their lives, why after so many
years apart jade had to get sick, but his faith remained.
No it wasn't the belief-in-God part of the plaque that troubled Tanner. It was the being still part. How
could he be still? The pain of watching jade fade away was never more intense than when he stopped
moving, stopped thinking about work or Ty or the problems other people faced. People like Matt and
Hannah.
He read the verse again... and was struck by a thought. He had to keep working. Only by staying busy
would the days pass and lead him to the place where their baby girl was home and jade was healthy. But
staying busy was also keeping him fromJade...from the woman he loved with all his heart, the woman who
needed him.
Tanner stared at the Benson file and slowly closed it. His head ached and his heart hurt. Even if jade was
sleeping, even if the medication was sapping the life from her, he needed to be home. Maybe that's why
the plaque on his desk had shouted at him for the past hour. Maybe God wanted him home with jade, even
if seeing her slow and sick and tired was the hardest thing in his life.
He drew a steadying breath and exhaled through clenched teeth. "Okay, God, I'll go."