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Halfway to forever by Karen Kingsbury

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"Yes." Jade nodded before Helen could answer. "Why don't I do that, Helen? That way Tanner won't

worry. Besides-" she looked back at Pastor Steve-"I might be here awhile."

"That's fine. This is my late night. Normally I have counseling

appointments but no one showed up." He gave her a smile. "I'll be happy to drive you home."

Helen left, and once they were alone, he took a seat on the edge of one of the pews and faced jade. "I see

a dozen emotions on your face, as clearly as if they were written there."

Jade's gaze fell, and she tightened her grip on the arms of the wheelchair. "At least a dozen."

"Like I said, I have time." The man's voice was patient and

191 ql'u !I,I

~~Ilil IIIIII,

K A R E N K I N G S R U R Y

filled with kindness. "Why don't you start by telling me why you're here?"

The memories that had troubled her for so long came to mind

again, and jade leaned back in her chair. She looked at Pastor

Steve's face and saw nothing but understanding. Then, with only

a few tears here and there, she told him everything. She talked

about finding Tanner that summer in Kelso and getting pregnant

the day before he left for a six-week mission trip. And she

explained the mistake she made in marrying Jim Rudolph, and

every sad milestone from that point until their divorce. She told

him how, after marrying Tanner, some people condemned her for

committing adultery.

"And now I have to wonder..." Jade's heart beat stronger than

before. Though she was still weak, telling the story to Pastor Steve

infused her with a strength she'd been missing for days.

The pastor leaned forward a bit. "About what?"

Jade crossed her arms in front of her and gripped her elbows.

"About whether God is using cancer to punish me. You know, for

committing adultery."

"Oh, jade, no..." Pastor Steve shook his head. "You can't think

that."

"But ...why else would God allow this?"

The pastor leaned back and crossed one leg over the other.

"First, let's talk about illness." His eyes softened. "Bad things happen

to God's people, Jade. That's always been true. This is a fallen

world, and life here is not the ultimate goal. Heaven is."

Jade had heard the explanation before, but it always fell flat.

God was a miraculous God. Certainly he could have healed jade

by now, or better yet, prevented the cancer from growing in the

first place. The idea that she was being punished seemed far more

likely. "But it feels like God's mad at me."

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H A L F W A Y T O F 0 R E V E R

For the next half hour the pastor reminded her of Bible verses, ring example after example of something

bad happening to Eromeone-who

loved God. When he was finished, he shared a final

ttrerse from the Book of John, "'In this world you will have trouble.

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