Flashback ( PDFDrive )

that I don’t want to remember?”
“Of course you don’t,” Fitz agreed. “Remembering means going
back to that stinky little cell. And it means we’ll have time to stop
whatever horrible plan you’re a part of.”
Alvar shook his head, and when he turned to Sophie his eyes looked
pleading, begging her to understand what he was trying to say.
And she did understand. At least a little.
“You don’t want to be who you were,” she guessed.
Alvar nodded, swallowing several times before he asked, “Have you
ever woken up from a nightmare that felt so terrifyingly real, you
wanted to cry with relief when you realized it was over and you didn’t
have to live those horrors?”
Sophie stared at her right hand, shuddering as she remembered the
way the bones had shattered. “Not really. My nightmares are all
flashbacks of things I’ve been through.”
“And how many are memories that Alvar was a part of?” Fitz asked
her. “At least half, right? More?”
“The part of me that did those things is gone,” Alvar insisted.
“Yeah, well, the part of you that’s left still needs to pay for what you
did,” Fitz told him.
“I already am—don’t you get that?” Alvar asked, raising his voice
for the first time. “Do you think I don’t see how much pain I’ve
caused? How you and Biana barely look at Mom and Dad because of
me being here, and how often I catch them crying after you yell at
them? Did you know Councillor Oralie broke down sobbing when she
explained what the Neverseen did to Councillor Kenric? She looked at
me like . . . I might as well have been the one to burn him alive.” He
glanced at Sophie as she wrapped her arms around herself. “Do you