The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

100 TOBIAS SMOLLETT
all—’ I observed, that, in all probability, he had studied medicine
under his master, who was a farrier.—
At dinner, the ’squire asked him, if he had ever practised physic?
‘Yes, an please your honour, (said he) among brute beasts; but I
never meddle with rational creatures.’ ‘I know not whether you
rank in that class the audience you was harranguing in the court at
St. James’s, but I should be glad to know what kind of powders
you was distributing; and whether you had a good sale—’ ‘Sale,
sir! (cried Clinker) I hope I shall never be base enough to sell for
gold and silver, what freely comes of God’s grace. I distributed
nothing, an like your honour, but a word of advice to my fellows
in servitude and sin.’ ‘Advice! concerning what?’ ‘Concerning
profane swearing, an please your honour; so horrid and shocking,
that it made my hair stand on end.’ ‘Nay, if thou can’st cure them
of that disease, I shall think thee a wonderful doctor indeed—’
‘Why not cure them, my good master? the hearts of those poor
people are not so stubborn as your honour seems to think—Make
them first sensible that you have nothing in view but their good,
then they will listen with patience, and easily be convinced of the
sin and folly of a practice that affords neither profit nor pleasure—’
At this remark, our uncle changed colour, and looked round the
company, conscious that his own withers were not altogether un-
wrung. ‘But, Clinker, (said he) if you should have eloquence
enough to persuade the vulgar, to resign those tropes and figures
of rhetoric, there will be little or nothing left to distinguish their
conversation from that of their betters.’ ‘But then your honour
knows, their conversation will be void of offence; and, at the day of
judgment, there will be no distinction of persons.’
Humphry going down stairs to fetch up a bottle of wine, my
uncle congratulated his sister upon having such a reformer in
the family; when Mrs. Tabitha declared, he was a sober civilized
fellow; very respectful, and very industrious; and, she believed,
a good Christian into the bargain. One would think, Clinker must
really have some very extraordinary talent, to ingratiate himself in
this manner with a virago of her character, so fortified against him
with prejudice and resentment; but the truth is, since the adventure
of Salt-hill, Mrs. Tabby seems to be entirely changed. She has left
off scolding the servants, an exercise which was grown habitual,
and even seemed necessary to her constitution; and is become so
indifferent to Chowder, as to part with him in a present to lady