The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

22 TOBIAS SMOLLETT
wrists, endeavoured to seat her upon the settee, saying, ‘Pr’ythee—
good now—hold your tongue—’ At that instant, who should burst
into the room but our aunt Tabby! of all antiquated maidens the
most diabolically capricious—Ever prying into other people’s
affairs, she had seen the woman enter, and followed her to the door,
where she stood listening, but probably could hear nothing dis-
tinctly, except my uncle’s last exclamation; at which she bounced
into the parlour in a violent rage, that dyed the tip of her nose of
a purple hue,—‘Fy upon you, Matt! (cried she) what doings are
these, to disgrace your own character, and disparage your family?’
—Then, snatching the bank-note out of the stranger’s hand, she
went on—‘How now, twenty pounds!—here is temptation with
a witness!—Good-woman, go about your business—Brother,
brother, I know not which most to admire; your concupissins, or
your extravagance!—’ ‘Good God, (exclaimed the poor woman)
shall a worthy gentleman’s character suffer for an action, that does
honour to humanity?’ By this time, uncle’s indignation was
effectually roused. His face grew pale, his teeth chattered, and his
eyes flashed—‘Sister, (cried he, in a voice like thunder) I vow to
God, your impertinence is exceedingly provoking.’ With these
words, he took her by the hand, and, opening the door of com-
munication, thrust her into the chamber where I stood, so affected
by the scene, that the tears ran down my cheeks. Observing these
marks of emotion, ‘I don’t wonder (said she) to see you concerned
at the back-slidings of so near a relation; a man of his years and
infirmities: These are fine doings, truly—This is a rare example,
set by a guardian, for the benefit of his pupils—Monstrous! in-
congrous! sophistical!’—I thought it was but an act of justice to
set her to rights; and therefore explained the mystery—But she
would not be undeceived. ‘What! (said she) would you go for to
offer, for to arguefy me out of my senses? Did’n’t I hear him
whispering to her to hold her tongue? Did’n’t I see her in tears?
Did’n’t I see him struggling to throw her upon the couch? O filthy!
hideous! abominable! Child, child, talk not to me of charity.—
Who gives twenty pounds in charity?—But you are a stripling—
You know nothing of the world—Besides, charity begins at
home—Twenty pounds would buy me a complete suit of flowered
silk, trimmings and all—’ In short, I quitted the room, my con-
tempt for her, and my respect for her brother, being increased in
the same proportion. I have since been informed, that the person,