The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

THE EXPEDITION OF HUMPHRY CLINKER 213
a dangerous rival, and he is too good a Christian, to repine at
Dutton’s success. Even Mrs. Jenkins will have reason to con-
gratulate herself upon this event, when she coolly reflects upon the
matter; for, howsoever she was forced from her poise for a season,
by snares laid for her vanity, Humphry is certainly the north-star
to which the needle of her affection would have pointed at the long
run. At present, the same vanity is exceedingly mortified, upon
finding herself abandoned by her new admirer, in favour of
another innamorata. She received the news with a violent burst of
laughter, which soon brought on a fit of crying; and this gave the
finishing blow to the patience of her mistress, which had held out
beyond all expectation. She now opened all those floodgates of
reprehension, which had been shut so long. She not only re-
proached her with her levity and indiscretion, but attacked her on
the score of religion, declaring roundly that she was in a state of
apostacy and reprobation; and finally, threatened to send her a-
packing at this extremity of the kingdom. All the family interceded
for poor Winifred, not even excepting her slighted swain, Mr.
Clinker, who, on his knees, implored and obtained her pardon.
There was, however, another consideration that gave Mrs.
Tabitha some disturbance. At Newcastle, the servants had been
informed by some wag, that there was nothing to eat in Scotland,
but oat-meal and sheep’s-heads; and lieutenant Lismahago being
consulted, what he said served rather to confirm than to refute the
report. Our aunt being apprised of this circumstance, very gravely
advised her brother to provide a sumpter horse with store of hams,
tongues, bread, biscuit, and other articles for our subsistence, in
the course of our perigrination, and Mr. Bramble as gravely replied,
that he would take the hint into consideration: but, finding no such
provision was made, she now revived the proposal, observing that
there was a tolerable market at Berwick, where we might be sup-
plied; and that my man’s horse would serve as a beast of burthen—
The ’squire, shrugging up his shoulders, eyed her askance with a
look of ineffable contempt; and, after some pause, ‘Sister, (said he)
I can hardly persuade myself you are serious.’ She was so little
acquainted with the geography of the island, that she imagined we
could not go to Scotland but by sea; and, after we had passed
through the town of Berwick, when he told her we were upon
Scottish ground, she could hardly believe the assertion—If the
truth must be told, the South Britons in general are woefully