The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

302 TOBIAS SMOLLETT
in some confusion, and restored the mull, which he would by no
means keep, except on the terms of exchange.
This transaction was like to give a grave cast to the conversation,
when my uncle took notice that Mr. Justice Frogmore had not
made his appearance either at the night-alarm, or now at the
general rendezvous. The baronet hearing Frogmore mentioned,
‘Odso! (cried he) I had forgot the justice.—Pr’ythee, doctor, go and
bring him out of his kennel.’—Then laughing till his sides were
well shaken, he said he would shew the captain that he was not the
only person of the drama exhibited for the entertainment of the
company. As to the night-scene, it could not affect the justice, who
had been purposely lodged in the farther end of the house, remote
from the noise, and lulled with a dose of opium into the bargain.
In a few minutes, Mr. Justice was led into the parlour in his night-
cap and loose morning-gown, rolling his head from side to side,
and groaning piteously all the way.—‘Jesu! neighbour Frogmore,
(exclaimed the baronet) what is the matter?—you look as if you
was not a man for this world.—Set him down softly on the couch—
poor gentleman! Lord have mercy upon us!—What makes him so
pale, and yellow, and bloated?’ ‘Oh, sir Thomas! (cried the
justice) I doubt ’tis all over with me—Those mushrooms I eat
at your table have done my business—ah! oh! hey!’ ‘Now the
Lord forbid! (said the other)—what! man, have a good heart.—
How does thy stomach feel?—hah?’
To this interrogation he made no reply, but throwing aside his
night gown, discovered that his waistcoat would not meet upon
his belly by five good inches at least. ‘Heaven protect us all! (cried
sir Thomas)—what a melancholy spectacle!—never did I see a
man so suddenly swelled, but when he was either just dead, or just
dying.—Doctor, can’st thou do nothing for this poor object?’ ‘I
don’t think the case is quite desperate (said the surgeon), but
I would advise Mr. Frogmore to settle his affairs with all expedi-
tion; the parson may come and pray by him, while I prepare a
glyster and an emetic draught.’ The justice, rolling his languid
eyes, ejaculated with great fervency, ‘Lord, have mercy upon us!
Christ, have mercy upon us!’—Then he begged the surgeon, in
the name of God, to dispatch—‘As for my worldly affairs, (said
he) they are all settled but one mortgage, which must be left to
my heirs—but my poor soul! my poor soul! what will become of
my poor soul?—miserable sinner that I am!’ ‘Nay, pr’ythee, my