The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

210 TOBIAS SMOLLETT
to kill one another when they fall out; moreover, I would not
have his blood upon my conscience for ten thousand times the
profit or satisfaction I should get by his death; but if your honour
won’t be angry, I’ll engage to gee’en a good drubbing, that, may
hap, will do’en service, and I’ll take care it shall do’en no harm.’
I said, I had no objection to what he proposed, provided he could
manage matters so as not to be found the aggressor, in case Dutton
should prosecute him for an assault and battery.
Thus licensed, he retired; and that same evening easily pro-
voked his rival to strike the first blow, which Clinker returned with
such interest that he was obliged to call for quarter, declaring, at
the same time, that he would exact severe and bloody satisfaction
the moment we should pass the border, when he could run him
through the body without fear of the consequence.—This scene
passed in presence of lieutenant Lismahago, who encouraged
Clinker to hazard a thrust of cold iron with his antagonist. ‘Cold
iron (cried Humphry) I shall never use against the life of any
human creature; but I am so far from being afraid of his cold iron,
that I shall use nothing in my defence but a good cudgel, which
shall always be at his service.’ In the mean time, the fair cause of
this contest, Mrs. Winifred Jenkins, seemed overwhelmed with
affliction, and Mr. Clinker acted much on the reserve, though he
did not presume to find fault with her conduct.
The dispute between the two rivals was soon brought to a very
unexpected issue. Among our fellow-lodgers at Berwick, was a
couple from London, bound to Edinburgh, on the voyage of matri-
mony. The female was the daughter and heiress of a pawn-broker
deceased, who had given her guardians the slip, and put herself
under the tuition of a tall Hibernian, who had conducted her thus
far in quest of a clergyman to unite them in marriage, without the
formalities required by the law of England. I know not how the
lover had behaved on the road, so as to decline in the favour of his
innamorata; but, in all probability, Dutton perceived a coldness on
her side, which encouraged him to whisper, it was a pity she should
have cast her affections upon a taylor, which he affirmed the Irish-
man to be. This discovery completed her disgust, of which my
man taking the advantage, began to recommend himself to her
good graces, and the smooth-tongued rascal found no difficulty to
insinuate himself into the place of her heart, from which the other
had been discarded—Their resolution was immediately taken. In