The Expedition of Humphry Clinker

298 TOBIAS SMOLLETT
with his crutches by his side, and his feet supported on cushions;
but he received us with a hearty welcome, and seemed greatly
rejoiced at our arrival.—After tea, we were entertained with a
sonata on the harpsichord by lady Bullford, who sung and played
to admiration; but sir Thomas seemed to be a little asinine in the
article of ears, though he affected to be in raptures, and begged his
wife to favour us with an arietta of her own composing.—This
arietta, however, she no sooner began to perform, than he and the
justice fell asleep; but the moment she ceased playing, the knight
waked snorting, and exclaimed, ‘O cara! what d’ye think, gentle-
men? Will you talk any more of your Pargolesi and your Corelli?’
—At the same time, he thrust his tongue in one cheek, and leered
with one eye at the doctor and me, who sat on his left hand.—He
concluded the pantomime with a loud laugh, which he could com-
mand at all times ex-tempore.—Notwithstanding his disorder, he
did not do penance at supper, nor did he ever refuse his glass when
the toast went round, but rather encouraged a quick circulation,
both by precept and example.
I soon perceived the doctor had made himself very necessary
to the baronet.—He was the whetstone of his wit, the butt of his
satire, and his operator in certain experiments of humour, which
were occasionally tried upon strangers.—Justice Frogmore was an
excellent subject for this species of philosophy; sleek and cor-
pulent, solemn and shallow, he had studied Burn with uncommon
application, but he studied nothing so much as the art of living (that
is, eating) well.—This fat buck had often afforded good sport to
our landlord; and he was frequently started with tolerable success,
in the course of this evening; but the baronet’s appetite for ridicule
seemed to be chiefly excited by the appearance, address, and con-
versation of Lismahago, whom he attempted in all the different
modes of exposition; but he put me in mind of a contest that I once
saw betwixt a young hound and an old hedge-hog—The dog
turned him over and over, and bounced, and barked, and mumbled;
but as often as he attempted to bite, he felt a prickle in his jaws,
and recoiled in manifest confusion:—The captain, when left to
himself, will not fail to turn his ludicrous side to the company,
but if any man attempts to force him into that attitude, he becomes
stubborn as a mule, and unmanageable as an elephant unbroke.
Divers tolerable jokes were cracked upon the justice, who ate
a most unconscionable supper, and, among other things, a large