Uncle Andy's Digest - JuLy 2022

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Labor PainsSubmitted by Thomas HillThe Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that six out of 10 peopleA pregnant womanhobbles into the hospitalwith one hand onher back.A nurse asks her what’swrong, and the pregnantwoman screams,“Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t!Didn’t!”The nurse shakes herhead and says, “I’msorry... I don’t understandwhat you’re tryingto tell me.”The pregnant woman’sface contorts in painas she shouts, “Can’t!Won’t! Don’t!”The nurse, bewildered,turns to a doctor.“Admit her,” the doctorsaid. “She’s havingcontractions.”CoincidencesSubmitted by Tyla DavisThree men were fishingone day discussingcoincidences.I’m done with carpentry. I’m throwing in the dowel.Flowers Edibles Concentrates TopicalsThe first one said, “Mywife was reading A Taleof Two Cities and shegave birth to twins.”The second guy spokeup and said, “I havea similar situation. Mywife was reading TheThree Musketeersand she gave birth totriplets.”The third guy in a panicshouted, “Good God,I have to get home!When I left, my wifewas reading Ali Babaand the 40 Thieves!”Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with14JimboJuly 2022 783-7039FIND YOUR CLOUDwww.thcMEDCo.comOur local police station was holding a seminar on how to prevent robberies.I tried to enroll, but all the seats were taken.
I’m trying to give up my addiction to ATMs, but I’ve been having the worstwithdrawal symptoms.Come be the Difference in Someone’s Life!NOW HIRING CNAs and DSPsAre you a compassionate individual who enjoys workingwith people in their home and in the community?Join our team of caring professionals!Out ‘n About atRolly’s DinerBreakfastat Rolly’s and aDigest is the perfectway to startthe day!Apply online at jfmh.orgor visit us at 800 Center St, AuburnJohn F. Murphy Homes, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer and complies with alllocal, state, and federal guidelines in its employment practices & services provided.I made a documentary on rivers and creeks. It’s called “Live Streaming.”MONDAYHam ItaliansSm $2.29 Lg. $3.99FRIDAYTuna ItalianSm $2.99 Lg. $4.99MAIN STREET MARKET2 Main Street, Sabattus • 207-375-8502WEDNESDAYChicken SaladSm $2.99 Lg. $4.99SUNDAY$2.00 OFFAny large pizzaHours: 6am - 8pm • Seven days a weekTUESDAYSmall 1-topping Pizza10" pizza $4.99THURSDAYBowl of Chili$4.49B.L.T.Sm. $2.99Lg. $4.99SATURDAYBaked BeansPint $3.99 Quart $4.99Full beans ’n franks meal $9.49Breakfast Sandwiches $2.29Hash browns 2/$1.59Coffee all sizes $0.99We accept cash, checks,major credit/debit cards, & EBTI had an idea about a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searchesfor his kidnapped daughter in Paris. Turns out that idea was Taken.Brittany Troiano& JeffreyLevasseurWe makesure to never runout of bread here atRolly’s becauseour customers arelack-toastintolerant.Jordan BlaisLarry MorinUncle Andy’s DigestJuly 2022 UncleAndys.com...withJimbo15
Page 1 and 2: JULY2022SINCE 1996In MemoriamJames
Page 3 and 4: I just want my house to look clean
Page 5 and 6: It is officially unsticking your th
Page 7 and 8: We’re MORE than a Club —we’re
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLUntil we meet again...Jim
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSEEVERY MONDAY
Page 13: I’m so proud I finished in second
Page 17 and 18: Doesn’t it seem odd that a boomer
Page 19 and 20: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESNowHiring24 Hou
Page 21 and 22: TopPay!Steve SimardBusinesses & ind
Page 23 and 24: I took up playing Scrabble with my
Page 25 and 26: Why don’t more criminals need exo
Page 27 and 28: Would a baby born on a plane be a n
Page 29 and 30: I hosted a Hide-and-Seek party over
Page 31 and 32: It must be gardening season. Five w
Page 33 and 34: Meatloaf was much less successful u
Page 35 and 36: I just joined a dating website for
Page 37 and 38: If you hold a crab up to your ear,
Page 39 and 40: Y’S DIGESTentswww.conjunctivitis.
Page 41 and 42: CALL THE PROSENJOY THE TASTES OFSUM
Page 43 and 44: My online gym website asked me to a

Uncle Andy's Digest - JuLy 2022

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