_OceanofPDF.com_The_Girl_on_the_Train_-_Paula_Hawkins

television again. The same pictures were still there: the woods in the
rain, police cars driving along a muddy track, that horrible white tent, all
of it a grey blur, and then suddenly Megan, smiling at the camera, still
beautiful, untouched. Then it’s Scott, head down, fending off
photographers as he tries to get through his own front door, Riley at his
side. Then it’s Kamal’s office. No sign of him, though.
I didn’t want to hear the sound track, but I had to turn the volume up,
anything to stop the silence ringing in my ears. The police say that the
woman, still not formally identified, has been dead for some time,
possibly several weeks. They say the cause of death has yet to be
established. They say that there is no evidence of a sexual motive for the
killing.
That strikes me as a stupid thing to say. I know what they mean—they
mean they don’t think she was raped, which is a blessing, of course, but
that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a sexual motive. It seems to me that
Kamal wanted her and he couldn’t have her, that she must have tried to
end it and he couldn’t stand it. That’s a sexual motive, isn’t it?
I can’t bear to watch the news any longer, so I go back upstairs and
crawl under my duvet. I empty out my handbag, looking through my
notes scribbled on bits of paper, all the scraps of information I’ve
gleaned, the memories shifting like shadows, and I wonder, Why am I
doing this? What purpose does it serve?