_OceanofPDF.com_The_Girl_on_the_Train_-_Paula_Hawkins

RACHEL
• • •
SUNDAY, AUGUST 18, 2013
EVENING
I can hear something, a hissing sound. There’s a flash of light and I
realize it’s the rain, pouring down. It’s dark outside, there’s a storm.
Lightning. I don’t remember when it got dark. The pain in my head
brings me back to myself, my heart crawls into my throat. I’m on the
floor. In the kitchen. With difficulty, I manage to lift my head and raise
myself onto one elbow. He’s sitting at the kitchen table, looking out at
the storm, a beer bottle between his hands.
“What am I going to do, Rach?” he asks when he sees me raise my
head. “I’ve been sitting here for . . . almost half an hour now, just asking
myself that question. What am I supposed to do with you? What choice
are you giving me?” He takes a long draught of beer and regards me
thoughtfully. I pull myself up to a sitting position, my back to the kitchen
cupboards. My head swims, my mouth floods with saliva. I feel as
though I’m going to throw up. I bite my lip and dig my fingernails into
my palms. I need to bring myself out of this stupor, I can’t afford to be
weak. I can’t rely on anyone else. I know that. Anna isn’t going to call
the police. She isn’t going to risk her daughter’s safety for me.
“You have to admit it,” Tom is saying. “You’ve brought this upon
yourself. Think about it: if you’d just left us alone, you’d never be in this
situation. I wouldn’t be in this situation. None of us would. If you hadn’t
been there that night, if Anna hadn’t come running back here after she
saw you at the station, then I’d probably have just been able to sort
things out with Megan. I wouldn’t have been so . . . riled up. I wouldn’t
have lost my temper. I wouldn’t have hurt her. None of this would have
happened.”
I can feel a sob building in the back of my throat, but I swallow it
down. This is what he does—this is what he always does. He’s a master