_OceanofPDF.com_The_Girl_on_the_Train_-_Paula_Hawkins

“Were from Megan? Yes, I imagine so.”
It’s odd, because I know now that all this time I’ve been hating the
wrong woman, and yet knowing this doesn’t make me dislike Rachel any
less. If anything, seeing her like this, calm, concerned, sober, I’m starting
to see what she once was and I resent her more, because I’m starting to
see what he must have seen in her. What he must have loved.
I glance down at my watch. It’s after eleven. He left around eight, I
think. It might even have been earlier. He must know about the phone by
now. He must have known for quite some time. Perhaps he thinks it fell
out of the bag. Perhaps he imagines it’s under the bed upstairs.
“How long have you known?” I ask her. “About the affair.”
“I didn’t,” she says. “Until today. I mean I don’t know what was going
on. I just know . . .” Thankfully she falls silent, because I’m not sure I
can stand hearing her talk about my husband’s infidelity. The thought
that she and I—fat, sad Rachel and I—are now in the same boat is
unbearable.
“Do you think it was his?” she asks me. “Do you think the baby was
his?”
I’m looking at her, but I’m not really seeing her, not seeing anything
but darkness, not hearing anything but a roaring in my ears, like the sea,
or a plane right overhead.
“What did you say?”
“The . . . I’m sorry.” She’s red in the face, flustered. “I shouldn’t
have . . . She was pregnant when she died. Megan was pregnant. I’m so
sorry.”
But she’s not sorry at all, I’m sure of it, and I don’t want to go to
pieces in front of her. But I look down then, I look down at Evie, and I
feel a sadness unlike anything I’ve ever felt before crashing over me like
a wave, crushing the breath right out of me. Evie’s brother, Evie’s sister.
Gone. Rachel sits at my side and puts her arm around my shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” she says again, and I want to hit her. The feeling of her
skin against mine makes my flesh crawl. I want to push her away, I want
to scream at her, but I can’t. She lets me cry for a while and then she says
in a clear, determined voice, “Anna, I think we should go. I think you
should pack some things, for you and Evie, and then we should go. You
can come to my place for now. Until . . . until we sort all this out.”
I dry my eyes and pull away from her. “I’m not leaving him, Rachel.
He had an affair, he . . . It’s not the first time, is it?” I start to laugh, and
Evie laughs, too.