_OceanofPDF.com_The_Girl_on_the_Train_-_Paula_Hawkins

you. To help both of you. You’re both . . . I mean, I loved you both, I
really did, but you can both be incredibly weak.”
“Fuck you, Tom,” Anna says, getting up from the table. “Don’t you
lump me in with her.”
I look at her and realize how well suited they are, Anna and Tom.
She’s a much better match than I am, because this is what bothers her:
not that her husband is a liar and a killer, but that he’s just compared her
to me.
Tom goes to her side and says soothingly, “I’m sorry, darling. That
was unfair of me.” She brushes him away and he looks over at me. “I did
my best, you know. I was a good husband to you, Rach. I put up with a
lot—your drinking and your depression. I put up with all that for a long
time before I threw in the towel.”
“You lied to me,” I say. “You told me everything was my fault. You
made me believe that I was worthless. You watched me suffer, you—”
He shrugs. “Do you have any idea how boring you became, Rachel?
How ugly? Too sad to get out of bed in the morning, too tired to take a
shower or wash your fucking hair? Jesus. It’s no wonder I lost patience,
is it? It’s no wonder I had to look for ways to amuse myself. You’ve no
one to blame but yourself.”
His expression changes from contempt to concern as he turns to talk
to his wife. “Anna, it was different with you, I swear. That thing with
Megan, it was just . . . just a bit of fun. That’s what it was meant to be.
I’ll admit it wasn’t my finest hour, but I just needed a release. That’s all.
It was never going to last. It was never going to interfere with us, with
our family. You must understand that.”
“You . . .” Anna is trying to say something, but she can’t get the words
out.
Tom puts his hand on her shoulder and squeezes it. “What, love?”
“You had her looking after Evie,” she spits. “Were you screwing her
while she was working here? While she was looking after our child?”
He removes his hand, his face a picture of contrition, of deep shame.
“That was terrible. I thought . . . I thought it would be . . . Honestly, I
don’t know what I thought. I’m not sure I was thinking at all. It was
wrong. It was terribly wrong of me.” And the mask changes again—now
he’s wide-eyed innocence, pleading with her: “I didn’t know then, Anna.
You have to believe that I didn’t know what she was. I didn’t know about
the baby she killed. I would never have let her look after Evie if I’d
known that. You have to believe me.”