_OceanofPDF.com_The_Girl_on_the_Train_-_Paula_Hawkins

charge of the whole investigation—Gaskill, the one who came to speak
to us after she went missing—made no comment.
Tom rang me back—he was in between meetings, he couldn’t come
home. He tried to placate me, he made all the right noises, he told me it
was probably a load of rubbish anyway. “You know you can’t believe
half the stuff they print in the newspapers.” I didn’t make too much of a
fuss, because he was the one who suggested she come and help out with
Evie in the first place. He must be feeling horrible.
And he’s right. It may not even be true. But who would come up with
a story like that? Why would you make up a thing like that? And I can’t
help thinking, I knew. I always knew there was something off about that
woman. At first I just thought she was a bit immature, but it was more
than that, she was sort of absent. Self-involved. I’m not going to lie—
I’m glad she’s gone. Good riddance.
EVENING
I’m upstairs, in the bedroom. Tom’s watching TV with Evie. We’re not
talking. It’s my fault. He walked in the door and I just went for him.
I was building up to it all day. I couldn’t help it, couldn’t hide from it,
she was everywhere I looked. Here, in my house, holding my child,
feeding her, changing her, playing with her while I was taking a nap. I
kept thinking of all the times I left Evie alone with her, and it made me
sick.
And then the paranoia came, that feeling I’ve had almost all the time
I’ve lived in this house, of being watched. At first, I used to put it down
to the trains. All those faceless bodies staring out of the windows, staring
right across at us, it gave me the creeps. It was one of the many reasons
why I didn’t want to move in here in the first place, but Tom wouldn’t
leave. He said we’d lose money on the sale.
At first the trains, and then Rachel. Rachel watching us, turning up on
the street, calling us up all the time. And then even Megan, when she
was here with Evie: I always felt she had half an eye on me, as though
she were assessing me, assessing my parenting, judging me for not being
able to cope on my own. Ridiculous, I know. Then I think about that day
when Rachel came to the house and took Evie, and my whole body goes
cold and I think, I’m not being ridiculous at all.
So by the time Tom came home, I was spoiling for a fight. I issued an
ultimatum: we have to leave, there’s no way I can stay in this house, on
this road, knowing everything that has gone on here. Everywhere I look